Shopping for a Loved One
Thank you for wanting to purchase a gift for someone you love. Please know that these links are just ideas, and that there are so many resources and ideas for you to consider. Please be sure to stop by our Support for Loved Ones page for some great ways to support your bereaved loved one.
About the Home Birth & Bereavement logo
The purple birth ball resembles our purple zero candle, and atop the birth ball is a pink and blue rebozo, or scarf, used as a non-medical tool in labor. Here it is folded to represent the pink and blue pregnancy and infant loss awareness ribbon, and you can read “Home Birth” written into the tassels. This logo is honoring to mothers who have chosen home birth after learning their baby is not alive, including home miscarriage or stillbirth. It is equally validating to mothers who anticipated a live birth outcome but who endured an unexpected stillbirth as part of their home birth.
Mothering Our Mourning means giving our grief two things: permission, to be nurtured, and discipline, to be shaped and matured. So we mother our mourning, and in our own time, in our own way, unique to any other mother, we each, give birth to healing.
The center of this M0M is the stillbirthday zero – all that is lost, all that is unseen, it is still part of us, it is part of who we are.
Wanting to make something similar to M0M for spouses, we have DaD:
Deosculate – it can be pretty impossible to ask dads to “go slow” and by simple merit of the request believe that it’d be a very possible request to ask of them, particularly when their spouse is facing one of the hardest times they’ve ever faced together. So to prove this point, the first word of the acrostic is intentionally a hard one. One that, in fact, you may also have to pause, to read, to look up. Which is precisely what you’re invited to do.
The word means to kiss. So after going slow, the next thing we could ask a dad to do is to stay close, to be present, to offer physical touch to his partner.
“Abide” is to many – not all, but many guys – a very guy word. “The dude abides.” It means both, to go slow, and it means that this really is a time to listen to what mom is saying, feeling, and wanting. In many – not all, but many Welcomings in which birth is met with bereavement, the dad can feel a kind of impulse to shut things out, to box them up, to hurry on. Abide, guys. Go slow. The “A” holds the traditional stillbirthday zero and is italic, because even as tall and strong as dad may look on the outside, it’s healthy, it’s valuable, it’s precious, to know that there are stretches of the journey that are a flat mess. That we bend, stretch, and sometimes seemingly nearly break. Grief is hard.
“Discover” is to recognize that this really is a journey. That even the most dominant, leading male will not have all of the answers, and that this is truly a journey of discovery. That can take vulnerability, humility, and bravery.
Meaning behind DaD logo (extended)
Rainbow Cigar Wrap – because it can be tradition to offer a dad a cigar at the birth of his child, now stillbirthday offers these paper wraps that depict the rainbow. Simply visit your local cigar shop or gas station and purchase the cigar you’ll like to present to him, and this paper wrap just simply wraps around the wrapper, customizing a tradition to make it even more meaningful.
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- Great listing of keepsakes from many shops and designers
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