God Questions

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What questions would you ask God about your pregnancy loss?  Ask them in the comments, and with the Lord’s direction, and the Bible’s truths, we can help each other try to navigate this journey of healing and reconciling feelings with God.

 

 

I ask that any replies to questions be in full consideration and respect of the person asking them.  We are all healing, so please be sensitive.

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Comments

  1. Why God would give me a heart to have children when then allow me to get pregnant and allow the doctors to neglect me and him die because of it, but let aweful horrid people have children they abuse and have no love for. Why make a planet of people to just watch suffer from so much pain and sadness?

  2. I’ve asked myself many of those same questions Anne. Why did I lose three babies before I ever carried to term? I was the educated, married, stable person, and I saw so many others who didn’t even want babies being able to have them. It felt–feels–so very unfair.
    I don’t know if this is the answer for anyone, but over the last 8 years I have realized that it is the answer for me. God allowed me–maybe gave me–those pains and trials because now that I have been there, I am able to be an empathetic support to others who suffer in similar ways. I have felt called to reach out to other miscarrying mothers and to offer support. Several of my friends and family members have turned to me in their times of loss because they knew I could understand what they were going through. It’s not that I would ever wish this pain on anyone, but in my case, I think that God was preparing me to be a force for good in the world (or at least my little corner of it).

  3. Heidi Faith says:

    Jenni has offered an answer full of compassion and wisdom. Anne, I am so sorry for your hurting heart. I believe that the feelings of anger, frustration and disappointment you’ve been so brave to share here stem from your deep love for your child. You are a good mother, and you want to protect your baby. It makes sense to want to avenge your child however you can, including facing some very real anger at your birth professional, and, at God.

    Please, as you explore these feelings, be gentle on yourself. I don’t know why you are now a bereaved mother, and I am so very sorry for the death of your baby. There may be, like Jenni said, the opportunity to provide empathatic love to others around you, but in the meantime, it is important to love yourself, and treat yourself gently.

    It is not uncommon to want to avenge the death of your child, and through this desire, to be angry at families who don’t care for their children as you would have yours – as you do yours. This can be very consuming and really, it can hurt you even deeper than you already are – it really can. Your experience is already painful, enormous and so very difficult to learn how to piece together and in any way move forward with. This is your baby, though, and your broken pieces. Spend time just caring for all of these broken pieces, how much you do love your baby, and healing ways that you can show your love for your baby…

  4. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage at 8 weeks. My second pregnancy I was carrying twins. But, one was stillborn. Our third pregnancy was a miscarriage at 7 weeks. I am now pregnant for the fourth time and am 8 weeks along. We have known about this pregnancy since week 2.
    I have felt very alone in this pregnancy as my husband does not want to “feel” anything just in case this baby would also miscarry. I love all of my children even though I have only one living surviving child. I call her my twinless twin, my absolute miracle. She saved me.
    We have always wanted children. I would like to have at least one more living child. I would also like it, though I know I can’t chose, that this one be a girl as well. To, not replace, but to hopefully bring the feeling of missing or emptiness to be filled. I am not sure if anyone can understand that. My girls were identical twins.
    I know that a unique individual, my Charleece Taelynne, can never be replaced. I just feel that if I could “see” two little girls growing up together that I could find some more healing. A question I have now is since I am feeling alone in this pregnancy, because my husband doesn’t want to feel, how do I allow myself to love this baby too? I didn’t get to hear the heartbeats of my other miscarried babies because I never got to have the first prenatal appointment. Since we found out at 2 weeks this time I have had more prenatal care. We have made it to the 8 week mark now and I am starting to feel a little bit more towards my new baby. Especially since I got to hear the heartbeat with this one. But, since my husband doesn’t want to feel anything and is basically not acknowledging my pregnancy I am feeling hurt and alone. How do I cope with that? I want this time to be different and to be happy and to have that joyfulness of having a baby without also planning a funeral and cremation at the same time.
    Twins are special. Babies are special. But, when someone loses a baby no one wants to talk to you. So, I have been trying so hard not to tell or announce this pregnancy to anyone until we get further along just in case. I had to tell someone so I told my mom and my sister. My husband wanted to wait until 4 months before telling anyone. I couldn’t wait that long. Especially since I had no one to talk to about my pregnancy for emotional support.
    I am scared about giving birth again, because I am afraid that it will hurt too much physically and emotionally. I had a traumatic birth experience with my twins. My other question is how can I plan for childbirth knowing that this child could die? How do I allow myself to feel even though my husband may not want to yet?

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Domestic Violence increases in pregnancy, leading to infant & maternal death.     [Path to Safety]      [Learn More]      [Quickly Exit to a Weather Channel]

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