The Grief Spectrum

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I tend to disagree with templates that promotes the notion that grief is linear.

Each person grieves differently, and while there are some definite universal elements to grief, bereavement is as personal an experience as love – because, grief is love, frustrated.

And it seems as if those who do try to shape grief, who try to instruct it and frame it and phase it and stage it and box it and prescribe it, that there is much argument between them as to where to draw the lines and what good grieving looks like.

Bereavement, is both a science and an art.  It is our grief – our internal interpretation of our experience, and it is our mourning – our external demonstration of our interpretation.

The bereavement journey requires both permission and accountability from those whose opinions matter to us, including ourselves.

I tend to see bereavement – both mine and others – as a spectrum.

Day by day, hour by hour, the color of my journey might change color.

What color is your grief, as you read this?  What color would you like it to be?

Further, colors and even feelings can mean different things to us at different times.  If you don’t see your color or your feeling here, know that this is simply a guide, one that is used widely throughout the internet for various applications.  You can share below, what color you would like to see and what you’d like to see it represent.



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  1. I feel I’m more in the pinky phase. Feeling sad guilty and ashamed. Wish I was more in. The blue phase and feeling more confident and peaceful with what happen. I still worry and struggle with how my baby Christopher died. I wish I could know without doubt that he is at peace and know that he didn’t feel pain in what they did to him. So if its wrong but it’s my hearts hurt

  2. As I read this, my grief is yellow, joyful, excited, and daring.


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