We Do Remember You

Review and Giveaway!

“We Do Remember You” is a children’s book, written by Steve Butler, who is a chaplain at Caldwell Hospice and Palliative Care, an Associate Chaplain through the Association of Professional Chaplains, an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, as well as a stillbirthday mentor – but most importantly, Steve is Jamie and Alexandra’s grandfather.

“We Do Remember You” is a Mom’s Choice Awards winner, and serves to elaborate on “A Letter From Heaven“, also written by Steve Butler.

In “We Do Remember You”, Steve takes us through the beauty and perfection of Heaven, what it might be like for the children who live there, and the similarities between Heaven and the beautiful places we create here on earth to help us remember those babies in Heaven.

This is a precious children’s book, designed to help generate ideas for parents to help our living children learn about their deceased siblings, discover healthy traditions and rituals to honor them, and to learn what Heaven is like.

In the most gentle way, this book even addresses babies who die who had not felt loved or wanted on earth, and how they too, enter Heaven, and receive the same unconditional love as anyone else.

From wind chimes to gardens to prayers, this book goes through several opportunities to help inspire parents to create healthy traditions and memories as they teach their living children about their siblings who are already in Heaven.

At the close of this book, there are resource listings of popular pregnancy and infant loss support websites (prior to the creation of stillbirthday, I might mention, so we’re not listed there), as well as special prayers and poems to remember our babies.


In honor of the close of our first year, we are offering this book as a giveaway to you.

My precious baby in Heaven, no matter how I have been blessed, distracted, overwhelmed, or marvelled at where stillbirthday has led me, my family, and all those who have been a part of this work, I don’t forget.  We don’t forget.  “We Do Remember You.”

To be entered in this giveaway, simply respond by linking one of your most favorite remembrance songs that has helped you in your grief.  A random person will be selected to win an autographed copy of  “We Do Remember You”.  The winner will be announced here on October 1.

You can use our list of rembrance songs to help you choose.


This giveaway is now closed.  The winner is Gabriella & Adair’s Mommy.  Please contact me (heidi.faith@stillbirthday.com) so I can mail your book to you.

I love all of the songs shared, and thank you each of you for participating, and, here is an amazingly generous note from Steve:

In honor of October 15th, I’ve been given a donation that enables me to offer 30 copies of We Do Remember You for free to anyone who would like one. This offer is available through the remainder of the month of October.  Contact me at http://www.alexandrasrose.net/contact

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Stepping Forward

My miscarried baby was born April 19, 2011.

It was immediate, the conviction to do something to help other families not feel as alone and ill-prepared as we were.  My husband, a normally stoic, very private man, confirmed my desires and agreed that we needed to put our very personal experience to use to help others.

It was just that overwhelming.

As we both privately grieved, I began to look into building a website for pregnancy loss support.  I had an idea in mind, and I even quickly found an amazing blog designer.  What’s more, is she provides discounts specifically for bereaved parents!  It was perfect.

I began emailing her and tossing her my ideas.  No, I mean, I had scribbles on random pieces of paper.  Scribbles with boxes and arrows and thought bubbles and dashes and lines crossed out and things written over other things.

I took these notes, scanned them into my computer, and sent them to her.

It was that bad.

See?  SEE?  I’d ask her.  Can we do this?  Can we do this too?  Or this instead?

Sure,” she’d patiently reply.  “We  can do these things.  When would you like to get started?”

Umm…… silence.

I didn’t have the money I needed to invest in the things I wanted.

So, after all of that, I had to tell her that I wasn’t ready to get started.

Yes, yes.  I looked that foolish.

But then, many of you know about the fateful July night, and the voice that woke me up to get started.  I began a free blog, and, just did what I could (and I have loved the response).

So, from April to July, I waited.  Biting my lips, feeling the strain mount.  How many mothers endured loss feeling alone, not knowing even the tiny fragments of wisdom I have gleaned through my own loss?  The pressure was building.

I worked steadily, for nearly a week.  Every night, tucking the kiddos to sleep, starting a pot of coffee, and plugging things into the website.  I was going so fast that even today I still find new things I wrote in.  I was plain moved by the Holy Spirit.  That’s all there is to it.

So, August 1, 2011, I presented stillbirthday to the world.

And as I’ve wept over stories and wanted to jump through my computer to hug a mama a thousand different times, I’ve come to see that stillbirthday was a place for me to visit my son.  A place for me to enter into, and grieve.

Now, a year later, we have grown so much.  We have even more programs and now, we have the money to make the changes to the site.

For the past several days, I’ve been working with Franchesca Cox from Small Bird Studios.

No, no I haven’t actually been working with her.  She’s been tirelessly presenting amazing ideas and crafting beautiful details into a wonderful new website, and I’ve been catching my breath, oohing and ahhing, cheering right out loud – complete with an energetic fist pump – I’m that dorkish, and piece by piece, Fran is leading me away from this format of stillbirthday and inviting me into a new place.

She has handled stillbirthday with such respect, such loving care, and such talent.  More and more, I am ready to let go of what we have now to embrace something I believe will be even more powerful and special.

It is my deepest desire that you feel the same.

So, I’d like to help guide you, too, into the first steps of the new stillbirthday.

Here are some of the things you can expect to see soon:

  • we will still be stillbirthday.com!  So, even though things will be different, we’ll all still be at stillbirthday.com.
  • There will be a forum.  This is the biggest thing for me.  Currently stillbirthday utilizes Facebook for private groups.  While we will continue to keep those groups open for now, we will eventually be stepping out of Facebook and into stillbirthday.   We will have a special group just for Love Cupboard Coordinators, one for mentors, one for doulas listed with stillbirthday, one for SBD students, then after the students pass they will transfer to a group for SBD professionals, and we will have groups for the stillbirthday moms and dads as well.
  • There are easy buttons to pass along to help others.  I’ve recently added the tabs “before birth” “during birth” and “after birth” as quick references to show all of the ways to support a mother during these times.  Well, these are accented at the new site for even better visibility.
  • There will be a chat box to help new stillbirthday parents and visitors find what they are looking for.  I mean, stillbirthday has a TON of information.  Sometimes having a little help to find what you’re looking for can be valuable.
  • Sponsors will have much better visibility.
  • There will be better visibility and recognition to the very special people who have helped stillbirthday.  There will also be a few “job openings” for stillbirthday parents to volunteer and fill.
  • The coloring, the format, the details, are all very special and personally and intentionally chosen by the professionally talented Franchesca Cox.
  • There’s so much more, but isn’t that enough to get you excited???

I am so excited for our transition.  I am ready to step forward into a beautiful stillbirthday, very soon.  Come, join me.



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Review and Giveaway!

Sometimes sharing can be the loveliest thing to do.

Jill Markijohn of Handmade JILLry often shares amazing items from her shop as giveaways.  On one such giveaway, Michelle Jones won the prize.  Michelle, a doula listed here with stillbirthday, felt prompted to share the item even further.   She has graciously passed along this beautiful piece so that another mother could treasure it.

This stunning Wrap Ring is made using Genuine Swarovski Crystals in Clear with an awareness ribbon made using Rose Pink and Light Blue Sapphire crystals to create the pink and blue awareness ribbon which represents pregnancy and infant loss (among other things).

This ring measures approximately 1/2″ at crystal portion and 1/4″ at band and is an approximate size 6 and 1/2 to 7.

This ring comes in a mesh drawstring bag and wrapped. Ready to be given as a gift, or just as a treat for you!

As Jill prepares to celebrate her daughter’s first birthday in the month of August, she also remembers the two children who shared a pregnancy with her little girl.

Jill’s daughter is a singleton survivor of triplets.

Jill says that it is her beautiful little girl who helps her endure the grief of losing two children, and she wants to know what helps you endure your grief.

To be entered in this giveaway, simply share with us in a comment below:

What is it that motivates you, inspires you, encourages you, as you endure your grief?

This giveaway is now closed.  Thank you all who participated.  The winner is hroberts10607.  Please use the feedback form at the top of the page to give Heidi Faith your mailing address to receive your very beautiful ring!

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The First Year

We’ve walked our first year at stillbirthday together.

We’ve endured quite a lot, me and all of you, and I am humbled and honored for the love and support I have received and have seen so many receive through stillbirthday.

To say thank you, some very special people have collaborated with me to offer special products and discounts through the entire month of August – some for everyone including all stillbirthday parents and visitors, and some just for the special people who have listed their services here.

Mel Scott is a stillbirthday mom to two babies – one born via miscarriage, and the other, Finley, who was born via emergency Cesarean birth after 41 weeks 5 days of an uncomplicated pregnancy.  The combined experiences have prompted Mel to make a difference in the lives of other grieving families.  What began as a community outreach, providing counsel to bereaved mothers in her local area, turned into a global effort to see the earliest steps of the journey of grief made properly supported by professionals who know how to capture memories for and with the hurting family.  Mel has run conferences to educate and inspire midwives, and was even nominated to run the Olympic flame.

She is also a part of our mentorship team.

Mel has also put her experiences and her heart into a book entitled “After Finley” which she has discounted for stillbirthday family and visitors.

Click the book to visit Mel’s website and read about her amazing book “After Finley”

After Finley, written by Mel Scott

$16 USD – contact Mel with your purchase information







While the grieving journey is a painful and even isolating one for mothers, extended family, siblings and the father can also feel isolated and tragically unsupported.  Steve Butler has a heart after God, and a heart to provide care in this gaping void.  With his two books “A Letter from Heaven” which is followed by “We Do Remember You”, Steve speaks to the needs of siblings, parents and grandparents as they try to piece their lives together after the loss of a child.  Both of his books have earned Mom’s Choice awards and several wonderful reviews from professionals both in and out of bereavement support.  Here, you can buy We Will Remember You for yourself and recieve a free copy for a friend or to donate to your local library!  Steve is an Associate Chaplain through the Association of Professional Chaplains, is an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, and he is a bereaved grandfather.

He also serves as a member of our mentorship team.

Click the book to visit Steve’s website and learn about his wonderful books and services for grief support.

We Do Remember You, written by Steve Butler

Buy one get one free – contact Steve with your purchase information








Paulina “Polly” Perez, RN, BSN, FACCE has been an advocate for new mothers and families for over forty-five years.  Polly has helped establish the earliest family centered maternity care units, she has worked as a production assistant on films that teach families about family-centered childbirth, she has contributed to important Health Services education for pregnant families, and she teaches new mothers and families important pregnancy, childbirth and new family information, including emotional and sexual aspects of pregnancy and comprehensive birth preparation including Cesarean birth education.  Through her online business, she sells quality products that aid pregnant families and birth professionals in helping to facilitate safe and comfortable childbirth experiences.

Polly is internationally known for her care of the new family, and has earned the Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses (AWHONN) Award of Excellence, for her excellence in community service, education, practice and research.  Polly is also listed among the Outstanding  Young Women of America, Who’s Who in American Women and Who’s Who in American  Nursing.

One of Polly’s earliest professional experiences in particular has helped to shape the depth of her compassion and care for families enduring pregnancy loss.  She has since been an advocate for families enduring loss by speaking and training other professionals in the art of compassionate care.

Polly wrote the first book on the importance of labor assistants, and she honors all doulas listed at stillbirthday by inviting them to purchase this incredible, must-have book for a reduced rate.

Click the book to visit Polly’s extraordinary resources for labor and birth support.

Special Women, written by Polly Perez

20% off – contact Polly or her husband Eric with your purchase information

Available exclusively for all doulas listed at stillbirthday.  Please include the URL where you are listed when ordering.





Gena Kirby is on a mission. Gena wants moms to know what they are not being told and that they are not alone. On any given day she is either sharing information about gentle birth and parents right to informed consent on her radio program, or sharing tips on babywearing on her tv show. She might be at a new moms house delivering a breast pump from her store, and showing her the easiest way to pump. She may be blogging about the newest information on vbacs (vaginal birth after cesarean) or writting about non-violent parenting for a local magazine or syndicated blog. Gena is a tireless advocate for mothers, babies, parents and the people that love them.

Gena is a Doula, a childbirth educator, a La Leche League International Breastfeeding Peer Counselor, and a mother of three children under 7 years old. She serves on the Board of Directors of Attachment Parenting International and is the ex President of Texans for Midwifery, and is a member of the Central Texas Doula Association. She is also the founder of Austin Birth Advocates & is a member of numerous local advocacy groups.

Gena is also a doula listed at stillbirthday, providing support prior to, during and after births in any trimester.  In honor of stillbirthday, Gena is reducing the price of her beautiful and helpful e-book guide to rebozo use during labor and birth.

Click the book to visit Gena’s website and learn about her passion to help families during pregnancy, birth and early postpartum.

Comfort and Strength in Labor, a Rebozo Method e-book, photograph book by Gena Kirby

50% off (regularly $15.00) – you can order directly from her website






HeBrews Coffee is participating in the celebration of stillbirthday’s first year.  Providing delicious, gourmet coffee with loving words of encouragement and fun scriptural connections, HeBrews Coffee is a unique, comforting gift idea, for yourself and for a special friend.  HeBrews Coffee has partnered with stillbirthday by providing a $1 “donation” offer and now, through the month of August, they are offering a wonderful deal that will allow you to enjoy a bag of coffee for yourself while also sharing the joy and comfort of HeBrew’s quality coffee products with someone else.  Share some coffee with a loved one, only through stillbirthday and HeBrews Coffee.  Freeze it for a Christmas gift!

Click the cup of coffee to be taken to Hebews Coffee shop.

Coffee for everyone – all stillbirthday parents and visitors

Buy one bag get one bag free – contact Ron with your purchase information




As an incentive for stillbirthday moms to consider joining our team through our first ever bereavement doula training, Brandi from B’earth Angel online shop has offered a giveaway from her amazing collection of carefully handmade jewelry.   The winner of this fantastic opportunity is Mary Walsh, who will be able to choose one piece (maximum value $30.00) from Brandi’s beautiful collection.

Click the necklace to visit Brandi’s extraordinary pregnancy and birth jewelry.

SBD doula registration winner- Mary Walsh

One free $30 gift certificate – contact Brandi with your selection







Thank you everyone, for walking this path with me.  This year has been an overwhelming one.  I have wept over your stories.  I have touched the computer screen at photos of your beautiful children, wishing  you could have them back, wondering what they look like in Heaven.  I have prayed for you.  And I have stumbled on my own journey, with the enemy attacking my efforts to bring hope and healing to even my own loss.  Thank you for trusting me with the most intimate details of your experiences.  Thank you for sharing your grief with one another so that you can help show one another where and how to just take one more step.  Thank you for allowing me to hold your babies and their stories here.  Thank you for your patience and your love for me as I too, assimilate my loss and try to make sense of life as a bereaved parent.  Each one of you blesses me, more than I can say.

I miss you, baby C.  I miss you so much.  It is impossible to run back to you.  So I walk patiently forward on this path I see, knowing that up ahead, around the bend, just out of my sight, you are there.  Maybe you’re dangling from a tree.  Maybe your biggest brother is right, and Jesus is pushing you on a swing, as your Great Grandpa swings next to you.  Maybe the three of you are laughing together.  I will catch up to you someday, my child, but the path leading me to that day is an important one, one without a shortcut, filled with so much opportunity to share, to give, and to grow.  As I guide your siblings into adulthood, they too look forward to the day they can meet you.  Someday, just around the bend, just up ahead.  We’ll be there with you, my child.

Here’s one more step, moving forward, moving closer together.

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