Hearts Release at the Gateway Arch

We’re bringing our annual free remembrance event to the Gateway Arch!

You are invited to share your babies’ names here for free, that we can write them onto tiny, seeded hearts.  You are also invited to join us at the Riverboat Cruise ($20/person), where we will scatter the hearts to be carried by the waters of the Mississippi River.  Did you know?  The Mississippi-Missouri river combination ranks fourth in the world in length, following after the Nile, Amazon and Yangtze rivers!  Let’s spread the message of our love in a really big way!

Where: The Gateway Arch, lawn and waters at St. Louis, Missouri

When: Saturday, October 15 at 3pm (the 3pm Riverboat Cruise is $20/person).

Who: You can add your babies’ names ($1 suggested amount) and anyone can attend

What: Floral Seed Hearts Release

In Addition, St. Louis Locals: stillbirthday has created an exclusive training opportunity with Jamie Bodily SBD – you can register with Jamie for her DoulaBuilders Postpartum Doula training over the Oct. 15 weekend and add on a VIP ticket to enjoy a private doula mentoring time with Heidi Faith, and access to our full, online doula training program!

Why we chose the Arch

It is a monument as a doorway to the expansion of the United States and is a memorial to President Jefferson and others who made the expansion possible, and is the tallest arch in the world.
It is 630 feet tall, and cost some six million dollars to create, which is an awesome place to be on this 6th birth day of stillbirthday.  It is gorgeously similar to our stillbirthday zero, and sits on the banks of the Mississippi River.

We’ll be releasing the floral seeded paper hearts into the waters nearby.
Let the river banks bloom with flowers in honor of our babies!

Gateway Arch in Purple Twilight

Gateway Arch

 

Update

We have a printed, paper version of this list which has a number of names that didn’t publish here prior to October 15.  We’re looking to piece it together to add them here.  If you don’t see the name of your beloved baby, just message Heidi Faith on facebook.  It is very extremely likely that your beloved baby’s name was included and I wish you could see your baby’s name here too.  Please don’t feel discouraged — you are so loved and we very much want you to feel that you are.

 

Please Add Your Babies’ Names Here

We hold sibling groups on one heart.  This symbol (+) indicates that a financial gift was given, either directly by the loved one, or that someone gave ahead, to spread their financial contribution to cover other families within the stillbirthday community.  Please return to the site to see the ongoingly updated list.

Update: You can send  message directly to Heidi Faith.

Our Hearts Release is celebrated differently and beautifully every year!

 

The 2016 Hearts Release

We’ll add your babies’ names here (this is updated & published manually) to confirm we’ve received your note.   A (+) before a blank space means that a financial gift had been given. 

20 hearts held in honor of Amos
100 hearts held as a gift by the Young family
20 hearts held as a gift by Healing Grace Birth Services

 

+Andrew Orr and Kai Orr
+Cameron Scott Pyle
+Baby L
+Mia Lucille Janssen
+Jayleen Nevaeh Martinez +
+Brannon Michael Hammond Liam
+Audrey Elizabeth Eyre
+Isabella Agy, Adeline Agy
+Micah Elisha D. Roof 7/7/13
+Kimberly Marie Jones Jessica Marie Jones
+Amos Fletcher Criss >>—–>
+Emma & Stephen
+John James Hammer
+Mary Anne Cope 1-22-15
+Sarai Manuela Martinez
+Samuel Jonas Carroll
+A’Jorii Noel Stewart
+Kiara Pearson Aistariana Pearson Aenarion Pearson Tyrion Caelith Pearson Faelwen Pearson Braelun Pearson      Teclis Nihon Pearson
+Mallory Elizabeth Neal
+Lucy Kay Clark
+Aubrey Rose
+Sydney Jeannine 3-10-04
+Ember Rain Lord-Lindsey
+Jasper Sagan Smiley
+Alexander Lee Allen
+Athena Rayne
+Benjamin Jones
+Gavin Alexander Cole
Kincaid Leo Ray Parker
Ryno Eagar
Angel and Blessing Busch
Scott angel babies
Minyona Elizabeth Carter
Aidiliy Faith, 6/21/16
Holden Keppel Galt
Jensen Grey Ridgway-Wallace
Amilia Rae Haslam
Payton
Heather Arianna Noonan
Urban Joseph Chartier
June Rose Bud Nick Noelle Annemarie
My grandson, Conner William Woodward. 9/15/2015
Elliott Max Zolman
Sullivan Journey Johnson
Connor Michael Arin Scarlett
+Brianna Marie Friel
Anthony Lee Troy
Henry Christopher Respondek
Charlotte Joy Brendan David
Bailey Lynn Utley
Alyssa Jordan Henderson
Emma Grace Dacus Baby Dacus
Connor Everett Nixon
Toby Nicolas Teague
Zaylie Ponder
Sprout & Baby Bear
+Brielle Janai Wilson
Easton Mitchell West
October Angel 10/30/13
Brody William Brown Briggs Leah Brown
Weston LeeRoy Forrester
Emery
Brayden Wenzel Sternard
Hartleigh Ray Williams
Harper Wray Sutton
Anton Daeg and Mila Jade
Aria Michael DuChene Daniel Ray DuChene Baby DuChene
+Kaiden Aron Kodama
+Rylynn-Nicole Grace Wood
+Raya Viktoria Mirtchev
Elouise Mae
Kalila Jade Lok
Morgan Brianna Downing
Sophie Elizabeth
Arianna Rose Terhune
+ Parker Magan 7/19
+Oliver Robert Hines
+Avery William Stowe
+Emma Louise Winslow
+Sydney Michele Valliant
+Griffin Michael Pittman Grayson Matthew Pittman Hayden Reese Pittman
+Baby Burrows 1 Baby Burrows 2 Baby Burrows 3 Baby Burrows 4 Baby Burrows 5
The Pittman Siblings & Borrows Siblings reserved heart space for:
+Arianna Rose Terhune
+Evangeline Star Hargrave
+Gracie Rawlings
+Lorelei Beatrice Walinga 11/5/11
+Jaxson Christopher Kneezle
+Griffin Yorke Schoan
+Brandon Clayton Baird
+Layne Bertels Lennon Bertels Bertels Babies A B C
+Pharaoh Ireland Bryar
++Jordan River Beaver
+ Parker Magan 7/19
+ Baby Carter
+Kendall Reese Long
Levi David speering xx
Emerson Ray
Anneliese Marie Shea Maggie Catherine Shea
Piper sampel Malak Sampel
Lola Monroe
Mary Elizabeth Coyle
Andee Elaine 10-6-15
Ebony Rose Born, born sleeping on the 11th April 2007
Sean Thomas Wells
Haylynn Elizabeth Robert
Baby large 1&2 Our “grape”
Erin Grace Becci
Christopher Yost
Star Ann Grimes
Angel Joel
Liam Thade Quinn
Jestina Juanita-Marie Davis
Noah Thomas
Miroslaw Omeljaniuk
Lily AnMarie 12/15/15
Hunter Grace
Samantha Grace
Kaliah Lynette Pryor
Amaré DeVaughn Davis Nyelah Shaniece Davis Tahlia Marie Davis
Jacob Finley Dawn Christene
Kaden Riley fink
Jack Kern Margaret Kern
Isaiah Eugene Oliver Brenden Matthew Oliver
Tristan Elias Moore
Michel Real LeBlanc Born Sept 3, 1995 Died Sept 3,1995. Stillborn.
Josiah Julian Peck
Adrienne Grace
Milani Rose Kea
Isaiah Eugene Danzie Malaya Denise Marie Danzie
Jadalyn Crawford
Lisa Marie Mangel
Gavin Clarke Russell
Fiona Sayuri Oda

Gideon Deborah Isaac Naomi Jeremiah Hope Caleb & Joseph ( twins, so same heart please ) Gabriel Christian ~ born Remembrance weekend 2011 Isaiah Judah Jubilee Moriah Micah Aaron ~ born October 15, 2015 ~ this is his first heavenly birthday Miah Annie

Lydia Grace O’Connor And our 3 little angels
Kayla Grace Ingram
Baby Boy Rudy
Ambrosia Amore Shiloh
Roch Conrad
Enoch
Wood Feb. 1 2013
Gilia
Zachary
Baby Klepeis
Xylaly Maggie P. Almanza
Zoe Angel Clark Turner November 2015
+ Hannah & Laurel
Landon James Myers
Gale Aurora Moltzan 11/18/15
Lily Katherine Allen-Ball
Kendyl Leigh Davis
+Abigail Rose Thomas 9/15/14
+Emma Caroline Pace 9/2/14
+Jordan Kissaun Foster Jr 6/12/14
Violeta Aluna Hernandez
+Liam Aurick Alexander Mahnke
++++Parker Aaron Augustine Christian Adam DeBoard Thomas Edward Burris Kaitlyn Ann Bierman
FELICITY THERESE WOJTKIEWICZ
Elijah Matthew Jacobs
Dominic Bryce Huchko
(+) Dominic Bryce Huchko 06/17/2016
Miles Farley
+Baby Miranda-Andre
Matthew A.S. Burns
Madeline Avonne, and Gabriella Noel
Tyler L, Jacob M, Cadence N, Courtney M
Hannah Marie Brooks
Angel
Logan DeVoto
Korah Lynn Haer
Star Smith
Harvey James
Emily Baby Y Clara Baby P Baby L Baby V Bianca Chase
Ethan Richard Stremich
Noah Elias Everett
Cloie Elizabeth Tunnell Walker (9-3-2010) Blaine Bryant Tunnell Walker (6-15-2015) Melanie Rose Tunnell Walker (8-8-2016)
Davah Brown
jennyfur angel. Baby bean Sweet baby Poppy Twinkle, Willow Rayne, Lovebug, Maybird, Sunshine, Mayflower, . Bluebell, Glory Michelle Pickle Joy.
In memory of Mallory Grace Fordham
Sean jr Jessica Issac
Avery, Asher, & Quinn Jalosky
Solomon Xavier
Michael Csiszlak
Baby Sammons #1
+4 Baby Villarreals
+Baby Schwartz
Have Daniel
Angel Baby Baby Love
Baby Fogus-Selan Baby Fogus-Selan
Delilah Marie Limerick
Hunter Jae-1/18/2011
Kira
Jace Daniel
My lil ladybug 4/7/06
Elijah Peter Ashton Hannah Ruth-Ann
Baby Ronco 12-9-15
Zoey Isabella Ulmer
Bentley Charles Nalley 10/18/2011
Carter and Easton Supler
Precious angels
Kara and Dove
Baby Dickemper
Joanna Helene Tillie Marie

.

Baby Meck 1/1/2010
Gryffin
Lillian Ember Stewart 11/23/13-11/23/13
Scarlett Monroe Mangas 10/20/2014
Sawyer Rae Davis
Sterling Holden Adams
Henry Alan Drum
Finley Grace Wieringa
Arlo Howell
Kaleb Ray Rowell
Maggie and Violet
Jonathan Michael Gill Aaron Cameron Gill Alexander Charles Gill
Jayden John Mayfield
Oscar Mulligan
Emma and Eddie Bouchie
Hudson Drake Roberts Grace Roberts
Isabella Hope Parker
Noah Graham Williams
Jae Bret Perez “Baby Jae”
Maya Alexander
Brayden Buntemeyer
Francisco, Eliana, Bogdan, Avisha, Sarai
Quinn Miller
“Peanut” Owen Michael McInnis
Anniston Elizabeth Jean
Baby Seymour-7/18/2008 Charlie Hampton Seymour-7/10/2012
Annabelle Lee Logue
Madilynn Isabell
Alex ‘Jack’ Roberts
Maya Alexander
Cordell 15/03/10 and Blake 18/02/16
Haylie Reeve Boatwright
Antonio Velez, Jr
Adelyn Anne Hughes
Sara Petroline 12-4-97
KimberLeigh Christine Woolet
Melati Kadek Kartawa
Avery William Stowe
Kevin James Smith
Corey Paul Rebetzke Junior 13/05/2008
Adelyn Anne Hughes
Isabella Marie Varela
Ayden Roy Sharp 7/4/2007
Dakota Emily Buda
Grace Elise Van Eseltine
Jada Lynn Sauer
Emma Rose Gonzalez
Olive and August Auld August 10, 2016
Thomas James Davenport Lilly Grace Davenport (twin) Kaitlyn Rose (twin)
Nathaniel Leon Homolka and Mia Elena Opal Homolka
Kyle McPhedran
Jade Jackie
Evangeline Overstreet
Anthony Carmelo Scaglione Baby Scaglione
Liam Hugh Pendergrass
Jaycee Mossburg
Emili@ Rosa-Irizarry
River, Blaze, Miri, and August
Gavin Nicholas Arnaud
William Jonathan Hankey Jr Baby Hankey Babies Hankey
Baby Coffelt and Baby McClain
Connor James Willis
Charlie William Gee
Baby Clatfelter
Autumn Grace Baby Ebaugh #5(Mystery Baby)
Madison Elizabeth Gray
Craig JR.
Mattie Bell Horton
Lucas Gabriel Hake
Jayden Millington
Adamaris Camila Niño
Jillian Harper Foster
Draven Michael Retana Nevaeh Marie Cook
Millie Clara King
Devin Pena & Matthew Pena
Arabella Alicia Alice Foust
Mateo Ronny Parker 6-29-15
Ruby Robinson born full term still on 25th September 2008.
Freya Scarlett Austin 3/31/14
Eason Thomas Popplewell
Tyler Christian Brunn
Austin Betts
Brooke Emerson Baby C
Frida Charlotte Weiss Hernandez
Makenzie Franks
Faith Nellie Ulrich
Christopher Hernandez
Kaitlynn Louise Bregar
Dylan Michael Lippert
Aiden Ryan LaFleur
Maxwell James Williamson 9/22/15
Scott angel babies
Adrin Hoover
Zachary Ray Fosbinder Baby Fosbinder
Aiden miscarried at 6 weeks April 2013 Noelle miscarried at 5 weeks Nov 2013 Jessi miscarried at 5 weeks Jan 2015 Bryson Stillborn at 31 weeks Sept 20th 2015 Miles miscarried at 5 weeks May 2016 Ava miscarried at 6 weeks Aug 2016
Gabriel Mckuin
Sophia Samantha Branchaud
Cameron Lucas
Aspen Sue November Blair Izaiah Charles
Dakota David Runyon
Nguyen Babies
Bentley Charles Nalley
Isabella Evelyn Ajila
Eli Vaughn Mchenry 6/24/14
Hope Nevaeh Ramnarine
Kyle, Memphis Boone, Alexander Lazarus
Miana Simone Byrd
Aimee Elizabeth Bartelmey
Logan Chase Roth
Orion William Sakowski
Caleb Ray Forsythe
Michael Stephen Parris Madison Nicole Parris Baby Parris
Jason Scott Mascroft
Peanut
Theodore Robert Congdon
Bellarosa Marie
Hope triplets
Eli Joseph Bolin
Shane Alexander Spivey 3/3/2012-3/19/2012 Baby Baker (exact date unsure) 9/2012
Liam James Alderson
Maci Rose Carleton
Tristan De La Coeur & Willow De La Coeur
Gabrielle-Olivia Adeline Weiss
Keiley Scarlett Rudgley
June Bug Rainbow Angel
Samuel Isaiah Eskanos 9-27-14
Korbin Taylor
Elan Dakota Paxx Tarlow Sage Finley Cael Hollis
Alissia Faith Hart 28.3.09
Ryan Lee And Harper Kay
Hope Anastasia Myers Elijah James Myers The 4 Myers itty bitty angels
Jazmyn Mackenzie
DeAcon Isaac Lee Ford 11-30-2014
Dakota Jamie Lee Culkin 2\2\95
Lyric
Elizabeth, Adeline, & Hazel Haukaas – Sather
Luna Wilson
Sofi Karlsen Pratt and Billy Karlsen Pratt
Austin Philip Granger
Cash Mulder
Bella Grace Bratsis
Gavin Dean Perry
Robbie Faith Rhiannon
Myla Jean Jones 11/12/13 Baby Jones 5/11/14
Dylan Richard Muise September 26, 2014
Zoey Lynn Knockwood 08/16/2010
Austin Philip Granger
Luke Kidd. Born 6th November, 2012
Nicholas
Nicholas Dale Gregory Hopkins
baby Quiñones 3/22/16
Aiden Houston Lynn Smith 05/16/2003
Oakley Lynds
Jack Nicholas Hamaty
Paxton Rex Houk
Maisie Brianna
Nathaniel Raymond Sparnon Baby Girl Sparnon
Abel Piña
Quintin Clark
Aiden Lee
Raylee Boren Maddox Boren Paisley Elizabeth Boren Madelyn Boren
Tiffany Kayla Orme
Hayley Paige Oakley
Kaylee Annette Tipton-Palmer
Baby Boatwright
Katy Bob Tuck
Jacob camacho
Boston Wilde English
Abigail Margaret
Eloise Margaret Smith
Cayden Augusta Brumfield Carter Augusta Brumfield
Seth Schamburg 3/18/2012
Everiss Aurora 5/11/15
Kylah Terese Marie Valvasori 02/14/2014
Aubree Faith
Artemis June Westcott-Hite
Nevaeh Geneva Marie Warnock
Hannah James Davis
Zoe Annabelle Marie Bettis
Carter Cooper Barry
Baby kester
Chloe Faye
Julian and Jocelyn Brown
Joseph Miguel Wise
Millie-Mae Clark Pip Clark
Nicholas Ryan Durante
Emerson June Oakley Aspen
Owen Justice Jediah Sean Simon Wesley
Gabriel, Stephen, Emma, Joseph, Ada, Daniel & Deirdre, Kate, Jay, Maéve, Colin, Linnea & Lucas
Baby Hammons – October 2012
Amy Sarah Roth Alexander Matthew Roth Amanda Roth Plus 2 un named Roth Angel Boys
Coralline Federico
Brittany Breanne Beaman
Kimber Paul Roosevelt Cunningham
Ian Cain, Angel Cain
Lailah Eve Cain
Elijah Alexander Larsen Hope Larsen LB Stephen Alexander Larsen Dragonfly Elena Rosalie Larsen Athena Rose Larsen
Michael Dean Meador
Lily Shirley
Rylan and River
Chiara Giuliani Neely
Hadley Lyn Richards 8/10/14 Claire & Christian Dyer ,Patrick Dyer
Ruthie Jean Strickler
Alexandra Stoddard-Garcia
James Terence Lalonde 29/7/2015
Agnes Mae Goldie Rae Bjorn Noel
James Anthony Penelope Ann Poppy
Sawyer Noreen Stish 9/2/09
Lennox Kincaid Goodchild
Evie Pond
Anthony Lilly Jr
Jamison Conard Shiloh
Kian Hardin
Mason Leigh Hall
Miracle Jahzaaniah Dismuke
Deanna Price Kodi Price
Ethan Gabriel Foster 6/25/1997
Mann Angel Baby
Elizabeth Roseann Brakefield
Rowan, Eden, & Jude Hodges
Carnes Angel 1 Carnes Angel 2 Carnes Angel 3
William Joseph Nichols Henline
Andrew Cole Woodside– October 2009
Millie Margaret Reed
Yassenia Mari Curtis Angel Lavontae Curtis
Samara Ann Acker
Nora Elizabeth Philips
Janessa, Hope, Jason, RaeAnne
Jack Michael Bella Lucy Kay
Angela Nicole Benge went to heaven 9-25-06
AJ Anderson
Ava Gwendolyn Frontczak
Valerie Ann Robinson
Ava Gwendolyn Frontczak
Eden Nichole 11/3/13
Miguel Everette Hurt and Autumn Kaia Faith Hurt
Baby Morias
Greyson Lewis Edwards
Hunter Francis Andras
Triplet girls, Shelby, Megan and Lynne b/d 3-6-09
BabyZ
Darcy Biegel, Lucky
Addley Rose Allain
Ruby Marie
Bryson James Descano James William Descano Jr.
Skyler Owen Tefft
Baby Adams
Samuel Ahren 11-6-12
Jaylene
Sophie Louise Tester born sleeping 3 November 2008
Grace Bellanti
Marisol Espinoza Erica espinoza
Danna Hariharan-Lopez
Elly Jae Schacht
Riley Jude McGuire
Charlotte Sophia Emperor
Bentley James Somsky
Anastacia Isabella Garza- May 5, 2011
Willow MacFarlane
Lincoln Everett
Jordan & Trevor Koziarz
Kole & Knox McDonald
Amanda & Fawn
McKinley Norton Mack Makenna Estelle Mack
Sam, Jackie, Jo, Jovee, Jaden and Mika Lopez
Caroline Elizabeth Davis
Everett James Bleem
Gabriel Isaiah Garcia
Faith Nellie Ulrich August 29, 2016
James junior Guthrie and baby guthrie
Millie Elizabeth Freeman
Owen Nathaniel Vick (Born into Heaven on 10/3/15) and our two miscarried angels, Jordan and Avery Vick. Our nephew Phoenix Lepe.
Isaac Israel Garcia
Korbyn Markus Eggers 10-19-14
Camden Robert Jones
Jacob Arnell Robillard 06/19/82
Haylie Reeve Boatwright Little baby Boatwright
Harley Rebecca Lumpkin 11/6/14
Sean Thomas Wells
Gaige Eastlan Carroll
Suzanne Zlatnik
Nicolás Xavier Nieves Colón
Evelyn mey & sibling
Brenda , Mathew
Gilia
Grace Louise Yeager Walter Yeager Tiny Bean Yeager
Baby Egan Bryanna Sue Egan
Baby Boy Ebanaya
Easton Mitchell West
Sunshine Hewitt 7/06/12
Bieske Babies , Baby Burke , Hunter Matthew Allen Bowels
Kyleigh Elizabeth Weller Baby Weller 2006 Baby Weller 2008
Jack Alexander Sophia Marie
Mary Grace and Evelyn June
Jeddediah Hope Philip
Timothy Estrella
Isabella Marie
Evelynn Faith Nielsen (2-19-2016)
Riley, Charlie and Nevaeh-Marie, their cousin Maddie
Asher Joel
Zayla Zoe Smith Avi Kayson Smith
Jacob Ryan Amadea
Dakota Lee
River Grayce Rhiannon
Jack Leet
Victoria Rose
Cooper Daniel
Nachmiel Einstein
+ Karter Jackson Kulczyk 6/20/2007
1 – Harrison Barrett Burkhead 2 – Baby Burkhead (unnamed)
Baby Drumheller Baby Rainbow Drumheller, Tzeitel Dawn Old, Anthony James Ralls
Veronica Lynn Vizzini
Owen Anthony Conkright
Angel Baca-Jimenez
Kayson Peter Johnson (1-13-16) Karson Phillip Johnson (9-28-16)
Meredith Helen Boyette
A’Khyrion JaMani Pearson
Brandon Michael Ash
Sunshine Hewitt 7/06/12
My niece, Baby Edwards-Ashman
Cassandra Ellingson
William Evan Duncan
Colby Michael Kusmer
Cloie Elizabeth Tunnell Walker Blaine Bryant Tunnell Walker Melanie Rose Tunnell Walker
Tex Doovey James Earl
Noah Lee Houghtaling
Brinley Wren Owen DOB 9/22/2016, DUE 10/14/2016
William Matthew and Harrison Michael Lamie (twins)
Gloria Grace VanSkike
Nyelah Shaniese5/8/09 Amare De’Vaughn 9/5/14 Solace Marie 8/18/16
Baby O’Brien
Chloe Eva Lee
Skylar Lane Henry
Bennet
Cayla Grace
Thomas Ferguson Baby bean
Emerson Hope Parker Riley Aapen Grace
Carson Savage
Charlotte Kae Sauer
Mason Rohus Worley
Lachlan Michael Eagle Mueller
Caleb Levi Neff
Lucas Gary Kirby
Viviana Alexa Martinez
Brynnleigh Erin Clary
Leia Rose
Maelynn Renee West
.
Blake Bryson
Tiernan Joseph, Cecilia Anne, and Ashlynn Elizabeth
Madison Olivia
Suzanne Rinner and Cree Noelle
Baby Scott #6
Jedidiah Michael Cook
Baby Campbell, Emma Faith
2 baby Goldman’s
Kaitlyn Alayna
Hudson Noon
Marlow Keller and another baby Keller
Alexis DinahLe Orsbon , baby Orsbon
Emma Rose Andruska
Victoria Rose Hovsepian
Sarai Grace Perez
Sarah Elizabeth Casey, Baby Morgan
Baby Walters
Charles Edward Walker III (Charlie)
Finley daniels and Devin daniels
Wyatt
Serena Noel, and Augustine Joseph
Tate Henry Murphy
Kellen Varady, Easton Varady, David Varady, Barrett Varady& Marek Varady
Bryson Elliott Cappetto
Hunter Charles
Addison Zambo
Reese and Scotlyn Wyman
Brielle Marie and Baby B
Baby N
Annalise and Emmalyn coker
Kolten Phillips
Noah Saige, Emma Diane and Benjamin Mark
Hope, Faith
Sean
Candace-Teran Tyson McDonald
James Eugene Bohm
CJ
Nathan and Caleb
Marie Lynn Nolte
Maggie
Micah, Alison, Heidi and Noah Bell
Angel Marquez 2-10-2007
Dominic
Angel Nevaeh
Alex Allen, Evan James, Emma Nevaeh
Julia Ruby
Hunter Lawrence Callahan, Sierra Ann Callahan
Hezekiah Maxene Lacuari
Michael Evan Smith and Matthew Ethan Smith
Jackson Tucker Fisher Booth 10/27/2013
William Edward Firth
Sammie Louise Oxley-beckwith
.
Piper Adilynne Huddleston
Hannah Sue Kimble
Jocelyn 9/01, Conrad Twins 10/12&11/12, Baby Conrad 4/13
Finley Rae LaCanne Chase Douglas LaCanne
Kaydence Fawe
Daniel Sibani
Brylee Marilyn-Jean Engh-Sparlin
>>
Zayla Zoe Smith Avi Kayson Smith
Blake Bryson
Tiernan Joseph, Cecilia Anne, and Ashlynn Elizabeth
Madison Olivia
Jedidiah Michael Cook
Baby Campbell, Emma Faith
Mason Alexander

>>
Glory Orozco
Jordan Louise Smith
Madison Nicole Herberholz
Sean william
Shiloh Rose Nix
Ileana Grace
Peyton Kaylee and Logan Todd
David Gabriel Gutierrez
Alexandra Rae Garrigan
Harley Orion Collier Davis 10/13/2003
Samuel Robert Harris
Lily Hope Letourneau
Ryder Hudson Marshall
Nash Austin Wheeler
James Ryder Hahn
Nalia Lexine Ramirez
Liam Scott Elmer
Sophia Grace Dolk
Aiden, Noelle, Jessi, Bryson, Miles, and Ava
Rachel Anne Badessa
Jaxson Andrew Bell – 12/07
Baby Aceituno 11/17/12, Baby Aceituno 4/14/14
Kamryn Olivia Vandeven
Quinn Nicole Dess
Mackenzie Pearl
Parker Rose Luke
Jeffrey “Ross” Harold South Silas Timothy South
Oliver
Noelle Star
Paxton Hubert
Noah Alexander Porsche
Adam (Short Stack) Smoker
Abigail Faith and her two brothers or sisters
Zackary Robert
Henry Owen Hatcher
Tristan Christopher Hoffman
Baby Lacey
+Hazel Grace Nordquist 3/22-4/5/16
Chloe Renee Damer
Mykala Rose
Ryan Lee Headley Harper Kay Headley
Avery
Jayce Thomas Sterling
Brody August Hylbert
Korbin Taylor
Gabrielle Faith Shields
Samuel Joshua Hettinger
Lena Harper Williams
Parker Rose
Max Alexander
Barney
Aden hunter Pettaway 1/2/2014
Noah Michael Dombroski
Lilyan Kynslei Pitts
Zechariah Enoch, Stillborn 5/14/15 Zoe Mae, miscarried 5/20/16
Hudson James Barker 10/14/15
Marie Lynn Nolte
Styrling Reed Booher
Atlas Orion
Naomi Lori Denise Cage
Hope Larsen
Harvi Monroe Hinkle
Joey and Samantha
Brayden Romen Black
Cassandra Christopher Nevaeh Natasha
Colten Michael Robinson
Stephen Holden Stout
Maggie Lynne Dutton
William Morris
Dean John Rivers
Joseph , Alexander, Kaylynn , Cassidy, Gideon,Lily
Justin Angel
Eden Nichole Peterson 11/3/13
Anthony John chaloupka
Isaiah Eugene Oliver Brenden Matthew Oliver
Eliana Micah
Michaela
Kamree Danielle Caton
Raegan Eastvold
Dane Abram Norris Baby Norris
Baby CK
Edward E. Perez Jr. 4/5/97
Baby Scott Baby Dowd
Sebastian Sơn Nguyen
Baby Boy Ebanaya
Faith marie huckelberry~nino
Bentley Cadence Smith
Xavier Cardine, Mary Cardine and Rita Cardine
Brooklyn Rose Borris
Leah Gabrielle Arnold
Anthony John Chaloupka
Logan Alexander Merkle
Riley Sera Kaitlinne Baby brother Unnamed babies
Augustus Keith Greten
Hazel Elizabeth Burdette
LILLIAN GRACE BURKE
Jordyn Tyse-Dallas Sander
Libby Lee Chazen
Owen, Patti, Peter and Matthias, Timothy, Rachel, 3 to be named in heaven
Colin Edward Rainbow Baby
Grace Evelyn Richardson Faith Elizabeth Richardson
AubreyElla Stevenson-Flores
Ellianna Linette Fred, Hallie auyanna Elaine Fred My twins born July 26 2003 25.4 weeks old
Adeline , Elizabeth and Hazel Sather-Haukaas
Colin Michael Wombacher
Jordan Lee
Owen Christopher Paganini
Parker John Hiden 2 Angel Babies
Christopher B. Graville, Jr.
Reese and Scotlyn Wyman
Haylymn Elizabeth Roberts
Evelyn Cheyenne
Angel Grace Elliott Clinton
Kelsie Elizabeth
Alonzo Javier Hermosillo
Triston Boyd Richardson
Joy
Evelia Ann Curtis
Angel, Mael and Matias Johnson
Connor James Willis
Owen Nathaniel Vick born sleeping 10/3/15 Jordan and Avery Vick (miscarried in 2012 & 2016)
Azlynn Eloise Elaine Lucas
Chloe Danielle and Zoe Grace
Lydia and Juan
Grayson Ryan Lucas
.

Alexander Ryan Freimuth
Baby Laci C
Aiden James Gibson Shiloh Reese Gibson
Jack Martin Brooks
Shepherd Luning
Lucian Gideon Wallower
Evelynn Seraphina and Jesse Elias
Elijah, Hope, LB, Stephen, Dragonfly, Elena, Athena
Christopher, Tia, Eric
Baby Tate
Bentley Joseph Lewis
Daphne Grace 2.29.12 and Hannah Joy 12.18.14 Daggett
Gabriel Evan Wells
My angels 2007 and twins 2009 Darby babies
Sweet Pea
Catalina Ariana
Star
keva faith
Amanda Renae
Matthew Lee Jones 03/20/2011

 

 

 

more families who have chosen to give

+LeBlanc
+Mast
+Josiah Julian Peck
+Lydia Grace O’Connor & 3 siblings
+Kayla Grace Ingram
+Murrell
+Chandler
+Massimino
+Landon James Myers
+Gale Aurora Moltzan
+Thomas
+Mahnke
+Huchko
+Miranda
+Villarreal
+Duer
+Brown
+Fordham
+Coiner

 

 

 

 

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Birth Friendly Workplace

How does a mother’s place of work impact her options when experiencing miscarriage?

The benefits of breastfeeding friendly workplaces are becoming more widely recognized and workplaces are creating intentional places for mothers to pump breastmilk while at work.  With a private room, comfortable chair and stool, and a mini refrigerator to store the milk, mothers can pump and work, both with efficiency.

While this seeming new trend may seem to speak directly to the new mothers with living babies, mothers who experience stillbirth also too experience lactation, and her pumping of her breastmilk is an option the newly bereaved mother may consider.

I believe that breastfeeding friendly workplaces are only a start to the incredible gaps in workplace support that mothers endure.  That there are substantial disparities in parental rights in the workplace is arguably no more glaringly apparent than the mother who is experiencing birth early in pregnancy.

Obstetricians know it.  The birth of a baby not alive in the first trimester can, without medical assistance, be quite unpredictable.  Labor can seem to start, then stall, then seem to disappear altogether, for hours or even days.  A mother may only know she’s in labor by the unanticipated blood she encounters.

Because this journey can seem to be an unpredictable, delayed, exaggerated stretch of torment, agony and blood, it can seem quite impractical for the mother to simply wait at home throughout the entire labor and birth of her beloved baby.

“I don’t want to give birth at work.”

This aspect of the mother’s life holds a substantial impact on a very intimate and important family decision.

And so mothers may choose D&C, a medically assisted birth.

D&C – in fact, all medically assisted birth options – are incredibly important and they are needed.

What I propose though, is that the family make a family decision that is not quite so greatly impacted by their workplace.

 

What would a birth friendly workplace look like?

Here are some special considerations for the mother who is able and chooses to labor without more medical assistance, and who spends some of that laboring while at work:

  • Time off however possible
  • FMLA for all families
  • Considerations for staff who need to work in uniform or dress code
  • An individual bathroom option (rather than or in addition to stalls)
  • Non-automatic flush
  • A family member or SBD doula to meet the mom at work
  • Someone at work who is SBD certified to build a company emergency kit and who can serve well

These are just a couple of ideas for a very complicated challenge both to the workplace and to families.  Because every single minute an American mother experiences miscarriage, we need to gain more awareness of how to support well.  We are all impacted and we all need to engage: individuals, neighbors, co-workers, medical staff, and more.  We all have an opportunity to participate to bring love into an impossible journey.

We have birth kit suggestion lists here at stillbirthday for birth in any trimester, and we have speakers who can present a workplace birth preparedness presentation to your place of work.

 

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The Courage to Christmas Shop

Each year, various organizations partner together to help community members purchase Christmas gifts for orphaned or needy children.

These are such wonderful and important opportunities for all of us to be reminded that we do have love to bring, and these opportunities are usually outlined to guide us to follow a few simple steps to bring tangible items to children who would cherish them.

I grew up in foster care.

Through the years, my name was on many lists for love to show up.

And love showed up.

 

The additionally personal opportunity – and challenge – for bereaved mothers, is the realization that we also have the opportunity to intentionally select gifts for a hurting child who is at or near the same age our child would be.

You don’t have to become that specific, of course.  But, the extension of endurance, the opportunity to stretch your courage, is there.

 

So this year, if you’re considering purchasing Christmas gifts for a child in need, I thought I’d share a few resources with you to help support this wonderful, but challenging, opportunity.

 

To Bring Love to Local Children

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Here are some ways you might get connected with “wish lists” of local orphaned or needy children:

  • Your local grocery store may have a Christmas tree with wish lists placed as ornaments on it.
  • Your local churches may have wish list information.
  • Your local children’s hospital may have a wish list for the children healing there.
  • Local children’s group homes or battered women’s shelters may have information if they have a website.
  • Do a simple google search for things like “Adopt an Angel ____” and enter in your city or town.
  • Salvation Army.
  • United Way.

Adopt an Angel” (Kansas, Kentucky, Nebraska, West Virginia)

If you’d like to be a part of this program, you can select the age and gender of the child, and Adopt an Angel will email you the details and the child’s Christmas wish list.  You can then mail your items either directly to Adopt an Angel or to stillbirthday headquarters, at: The M0M Center, 11117 N. Oak Trafficway, Kansas City MO 64155.

 

To Bring Love to International Children

There are various charity organizations that aim to bring support to children in different struggling conditions from various countries.

 

 

To Be Supported for Your Courage

Because intentionally shopping for gifts for a child, particularly if you’re choosing a child of the same age and/or gender as would be your beloved baby not alive, can be a healing but also a difficult thing to do, stillbirthday simply wants to thank you for your courage, and to offer to you that this doesn’t have to be something you do alone.

 

Meet Your SBD Doulas

If you are choosing to purchase items for an orphaned or needy child, please know that if you’d like, this can be a lovely time for you to meet your local stillbirthday doulas.  If you’d like to have a little moral support during your healing – but possibly challenging – shopping trip, you can view our listing of doulas, and see who is nearest to you.  Send the doula an email, and just tell her that you want to purchase Christmas gifts for an orphaned child, and the two of you can arrange a time when she can meet you at a store.  You can push the cart, make the selections and purchase the items for the Christmas wish list, and just have a chance to share your story with your doula.  She’ll just be there for you, simply to walk alongside you and listen, and to bring the tissues if needed.

This is a very individual, non-threatening and wonderful time for you simply to get to know your nearest SBD doulas, and to allow your story to be heard.

The gifts you purchase are about bringing joy and hope to a child.  But your decision to bring such joy and hope is about you.  It’s about your sacrifice, your courage, your love.  Your stillbirthday doula simply wants to bring some free and tangible validation to you for these things you bring.

For this opportunity to meet your nearest stillbirthday doula, please click here for our doula listing, and send a brief email to the nearest doulas (you can certainly email more than one).  Your doula won’t make any purchases but is simply there to be with you for a couple of hours to walk alongside you as you shop and listen as you share.

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October 25 Remembrance

It’s today!

 

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Thank you so very much to Jen Cantrell, SBD for capturing this photo of OUR FLAG flying over the US Capitol on October 25, 2014 in honor of Proclamation 5890!

Please click here to read Proclamation 5890.

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What is Death Midwifery?

The global community of birth professionals continue to wrap love around the Gaskin family, and it is a time many of us who are birth doulas or birth midwives are drawing the parallels, some for the first time, between supporting during birth, and supporting during death.

But, there is a need for a clarification of terms, so I’d like to explain those.  Let’s step out of birth and death altogether for a moment and I’ll compare these terms to a life event that also has parallels – a wedding.

Maid/Matron of Honor – someone who provides emotional and moral support.  Someone who listens to you, assess what needs you might have, and presents you with options to choose from.  This person is most commonly a “she”, but, yours may not be; for our example she will be.  You can call her at midnight to tell her that you’re scared, or excited, or both, and she’ll remind you that no matter what, she is with you.  That you can do this.  She’ll remind you of your strengths, remind of your support, and she’ll rally the team together to strengthen and support you.  And if she’s really good, she’ll also have many of the same skills as your wedding planner.  If you’re not already super close before your big day, you’ll probably be close because of it.  That’s a doula.

Justice of Peace/Preacher/Chaplain – on the beautiful day, this is the person you stand in front of to deliver your commitment as a unit.  You pick this person out beforehand, making sure they see your vision and that they’re a good match for it.  You agree on the date, and you meet together.  You stand before this person on your big day.  You are the one making the vow, not this person.  But this person is essential in making sure your vow actually happens.  That’s a midwife.

Courthouse – let’s just toss this in there because even though it’s not the fun part, it is a formality.  Does your beloved have a criminal record?  Are you agreeing to a prenuptual agreement?  Do you file taxes?  The fine print.  The stuff that takes all the pretty out of your day and puts it into documentation.  The legal stuff.  For extreme simplicity’s sake, we’ll call that the hospital, the doctors, and/or the laws in your area surrounding your birthing choices.

I just don’t want the value of what Ina May Gaskin has brought to the birthing choices of mothers to become diluted as I’m seeing the mistakes in droves as people are comparing her experience right now to death midwifery, but doing so by erroneously speaking of the role of a “death midwife” as “bereavement doula“.

Here at stillbirthday, we train and certify both, birth & bereavement doulas, and, what others are calling death midwives – but we call ourselves midwives of thanatology.  So let me address these two terms.

A birth & bereavement doula provides support prior to birth, during birth, during the welcoming, during the farewell, and during the healing journey.  This support is provided in much of the same capacity as our maid of honor, looked at earlier.  You can learn more about our birth & bereavement doula certification program, here.

A midwife of thanatology, also provides support prior to birth, during birth, during the welcoming, during the farewell, and during the healing journey.  In fact, the SBD doula program is a prerequisite into the midwife of thanatology program.  But the midwife of thanatology is comparable to chaplain in the example above, and in fact we call this program our SBD Chaplaincy program.  A midwife of thanatology helps you exert your rights as you prepare for the event of your farewell.  Your local birth midwife knows your local laws regarding where you can birth, with whom, and under what laws.  Your local midwife of thanatology, knows your rights of sepulcher, knows the difference between hospital policy and local law regarding your time with your deceased beloved, knows where you might bury or cremate, and can officiate the farewell, exactly as a chaplain might speak at a funeral.

Let us all understand that birth doula and midwife are not the same, and neither is birth & bereavement doula and midwife of thanatology.  And let us understand that all of these roles are of tremendous value.

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This is what was shared via our facebook page yesterday:

“Ina May Gaskin is in many ways a trailblazer of non-medical childbirth options and is known as a mother of midwifery.
While the world celebrates her contributions to the options in childbirth, facilitating bonding and joy between mothers and newborns, her first birth resulted in her beloved newborn son, Christian, dying in her arms.
I honor Ina May not even for her work, but for her motherhood journey.
Today, everyone who celebrates Ina May for her contributions to birthing choices is gathering to pray and send healing thoughts as it is being reported that her beloved Stephen is nearing his death.
Ina May, I am so sorry for the death of your son, Christian.  Thank you for bringing joy to mothers through your own motherhood experiences, that you see the value of birth intrinsically, the value of mothers loving and connecting with our babies, no matter what, and for finding ways to facilitate that.
May these moments with your beloved Stephen now be filled with significance to you, even joy, and may you be given a space to just authentically honor your journey, free from the scrutiny and publicity that has chased you since your first birth, and may you just find spiritual and emotional rest in these moments as your beloved may be entering his.”
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Security Public Storage

The investigative process in identifying SIDS can be an emotionally compounding and even traumatic one.

Families may be required during the investigation to store their baby’s items in public storage, or certain items might be gathered, collected as evidence, treasured keepsakes considered specimens of scrutiny.

Security Public Storage, through an employee at the Santa Rosa California location, donated hundreds of dollars to one such mother, whose babies items were stored there.  This mother was at risk of losing all of her baby’s items – they were scheduled to be auctioned if she could not remit the bill in full before Christmas day.

Upon hearing of our special SIDS stillbirthday mother’s situation, Tracy, the employee at Security Public Storage, contributed several hundred dollars to this mother’s bill, so that she can have her baby’s items returned to her.

Tracy, a bereaved mother herself, gave so selflessly, on behalf of her own two children, Jessica and Jeremy.

If Public Storage hasn’t been an aspect of your journey, it’s important to consider just how additionally challenging this aspect can be.

Thank you so much, Tracy and Security Public Storage of Santa Rosa, for setting the precedent that storage facilities might bring additional factors – deeply humbling, beautiful and healing factors – in our bereavement journey.

You can write a quick thank you to Tracy, something like this:

“Thank you Tracy, for reaching out to a mother in need.  I too am a bereaved mother and your selflessness in your own babies’ honor encourages me to do the same.  Sending you thanks from _____.”

(You don’t need to fill in any of the other boxes on their form.)

Related: Love Cupboards

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Four Words to Skip

It can take a whole lot of courage to reach through darkness and ask for help.

Consider a frantic call to 911.  It might go something like this:

~~~

Dispatcher: “911, what is your emergency?”

You: (frantically blurting out the immediate situation)

Dispatcher: ****

“Please stay on the line, while I dispatch an officer to your location.”

****

There’s a certain number of things your dispatcher will do in this space.  He or she will want to get information about your environment, including the danger(s) you are in and who all might be involved.  He or she will need identifying information from you so that the officer(s) will know a little more of what to expect upon arrival.  What are you wearing?  Where are you exactly?  And he or she will want to assist in any temporary safety until the officer(s) get there – guiding with CPR, for example.

~~~

So let’s translate that to a different kind of cry for help.

“Will you pray for me?”

I’ve heard it, I’ve seen it, I’ve asked it myself.

I’ve seen people ask for help, and, I have seen other people simply assume that this is the help that someone is asking for.  And so they respond like this:

“I’ll pray for you.”

 

I’ll pray for you.

As a praying person myself, I have a few fundamental concerns with this phrase.

Because, it is a phrase.

It is a shallow response.

I’ll pray for you.

Really?  When?

Because we are so easily distracted in this fast paced world, what is the likelihood of remembering a 30 second interaction when you do carve out your prayer time?

Why does the prayer need to wait until then?

How many times will you remember to pray for the person?

What, exactly, will you be praying for?

Does the person want you to pray for them?  Does the person want you to pray for what you’re praying for?

And how is the person expected to respond?  A retort like this, in basic conversational structure, automatically elicits a “thank you” from the requestor.

Thank you.  The end.  And now we all can move on.

 

“I’ll pray for you.”

It is a response that is not only insufficient to the recipient, but for those witnesses who are trying to sort out if prayer or praying people are even trustworthy, I can promise you that they are not too entirely impressed with this shallow response either.  Not when they know what it’s like to seek real, urgent, tangible help like the 911 call example above.

It’s really about as efficient as leaving a tract as a tip for a waitress.

So, if someone has cried out for help and you have heard this cry, here is an alternative response:

“I want to know.”

Still four words, easy to lock in your mind.  Practice them aloud right now:

“I want to know.”

If it’s social media, you can send the requestor a private message.

If it’s somewhere else, call the person on the phone.  Or send them a card.

“I saw your cry for help.  And I want to know, how to pray for you.”

Like the dispatcher, you aren’t just there to answer a call, but to actually respond to it.

Invite the person to offer more details.  See how you can help in a very tangible way until stronger support arrives.

I saw your cry for help.  And I want to know, what I can do in a tangible way to support you with what you’re facing.

And if the person simply has an unspoken need, you can pray for all of the circumstances surrounding it and all the people impacted by it, and still offer tangible support.

It’s like leaving a tract if you want to, but offering 20% of the tab, too.

Because we might not live on bread alone, but Jesus sure said pretty clearly “You feed them!” in Matthew 14:15-16 (and incidentally, multiplied the bread).

 

Here’s 5 tips to skip “I’ll pray for you”:

 

  1. If someone has asked you for prayer, pray right then.
  2. Ask if there is a specific need or answer they are praying for.  “I want to know…”
  3. Let them hear, see or know what you are praying for.
  4. Ask if there is a specific need or answer that you can tangibly respond to or help fulfill.  “I was thinking…. would this be helpful to you?”
  5. Check back in with them and ask if there is an update to the situation, and start back at one.

 

You can visit our support for loved ones for more guidance in supporting your grieving loved one.

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Student Sharing

As we start a new class, inevitably friends and supporters of the SBD doula students want to have a peek, an inside view of what the student is learning, how the student is being challenged, and in what ways the student is being inspired.  Here is a place for SBD students themselves, to comment and share a bit of their journey.

Week 1: fertility, pre-conception, conception, diversity in beliefs about pregnancy, birth and loss

Week 2: prenatal bonding, nutrition, partners, physiology of childbirth in every trimester

Week 3: medical support options during childbirth in every trimester

Week 4: non-medical support options during childbirth in every trimester, birth plans, building a doula bag & networking

Week 5: physical postpartum in all experiences, NICU

Week 6: emotional postpartum in all experiences, hormones, grief

Week 7: mourning, the emotional experience of the doula

Week 8: the practical, professional and business aspects of the doula

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What is the SBD training?

A powerful interview of Elizabeth Petrucelli, author of All That is Seen and Unseen, was held by Denver Natural Mom. 
Click the link above or the photo below, and you can listen in.

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Some of my favorite moments are:
“the ah, ha moment” at 10:00
Personal truth about bonding on 12:00
Doula: stoicism and performance/support fears at 13:00
“Even though it was a tough program on so many levels, it prepared me for what I do now.
I’ve taken other trainings but nothing is comparable to what I received from stillbirthday.” (minute 14)
What a birth & bereavement doula does – minute 15:15 – 23
Why and how SBD doulas benefit hospitals – minute 21-23
About mentoring – minute 21
“The bereavement doula is designed to help the family recover, but slowly.”
“The hospital can’t follow up as often as the bereavement doula can so this is an excellent way for hospitals to provide the highest level of support for families experiencing pregnancy and infant loss, and it is my hope that hospitals pick up on this idea and hire some.
This is one of my goals.”
“It is above and beyond what a hospital can provide without them.”

“Stillbirthday’s Birth & Bereavement Doula training is amazing. Heidi has created comprehensive materials that far exceeded my expectations and instilled in me a strong confidence to support loss parents during their darkest hour. The human touch she weaves into the training confirmed for me that I’d made the right decision in choosing stillbirthday for this experience.”
-Jaime Hogan, part-time volunteer SBD
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“Still Birth Day is an amazing program.  I highly suggest ALL doulas take it, regardless of who else you trained/certified through.”
-Shannon Sasseville, SBD trained doula
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“Please know that I have learned so much more in this course than I had hoped and than I had learned in my five years of university. It has been an absolutely amazing honour to have been given the opportunity to meet so many wonderful women and to acquire all of this extensive knowledge. I cannot say enough about Stillbirthday and I am so incredibly thankful that my journey through grief led me to this opportunity. I truly feel that this is my calling and I will forever be indebted to you for all you do and for giving me the tools that I need to follow my dream. Thank you so much!”
-Jasmin Herchak, SBD student
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“Stillbirthday is a refuge for the heart, a safe haven where unconditional love abounds, a place of solace. I am honored to be a SBD doula. My motherhood journey began with a pregnancy loss. The loss of my baby shaped me in very profound ways. It was out of this loss that I felt compelled to take the training and become certified to help other families in their time of grief and mourning. As a SBD doula I am able to support birth in any trimester with any outcome. At Stillbirthday a pregnancy loss is still a birthday. It is a community where resources can be found for birthing plans, farewell celebrations and bereavement support. When I had my miscarriage I did not know anyone who had suffered the same loss. My arms were empty, my eyes were full of tears and my heart was so very heavy. I sought comfort in my faith in God. I knew he was the creator of the life in my womb. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. It is my desire to comfort others in their time of need. Stillbirthday is like balm for the grieving soul. Stillbirthday has equipped me to walk out the desire of my heart in a tangible and meaningful way. If you are in need of compassion because you have experienced loss or if you are interested in becoming a birth and bereavement doula please visit www.stillbirthday.com a place where all are welcome and loved.”
-Holly Lowmiller, SBD published at PaxBaby
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“In my opinion, stillbirthday is one of the most rigorous available. Furthermore, the inclusion of miscarriage and stillbirth information provides a firm foundation for helping clients through unexpected outcomes.”
-Summer Thorp-Lancaster, SBD student
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“Many people don’t understand the enormity of this training. It’s 8 weeks (you have 12 to finish it) and it can be completely overwhelming. So many people NEED the 12 weeks to complete it. I have never taken training like this before. I would say it’s close to an accelerated college course. Each week you have reading, assignments, and discussions. Some of the assignments involved making phone calls or visiting hospitals and/or funeral homes. In addition, there are 2 books reports and a community project.
You won’t be disappointed. I know many people look down on online training but this isn’t the same.”
-Elizabeth Petrucelli, SBD and author of All That is Seen and Unseen
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“I salute you Heidi for the brilliant work you have done to start Stillbirthday. It was a life changing course for me, and I hope I can now better serve the people that the Lord brings across my path. On behalf of all the other students and Doulas, thank you for everything you put into it. We can clearly see that all your heart is in this. Thanks for sharing so honestly and thanks for taking the lead in the field. Not only in the US, but also internationally. My life is so much richer with SBD in my life.”
-Rechelle Vermaak SBD serving South Africa
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What is an SBD Doula?
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“Birth & Bereavement Doula: A birth doula is an essential part of a mother’s support team during the childbearing year, especially during actual childbirth. A birth doula provides constant emotional and physical support, information, and promotes a loving, safe, non-judgemental environment for the mother and her family. Similarly, a bereavement doula goes further and provides families with constant support during one of the most difficult times of their lives. Bereavement doulas help families by facilitating healing through love, humility, and respect. It is important for families to feel unconditionally supported in the event of a loss, especially because there are often external factors that may make them feel as though they cannot express how they truly feel, thus hindering the healing process. Sometimes families do not have adequate family support or they feel as though their loved ones won’t understand. It is important to serve these families in a way that helps them identify and address these feelings, and to be able to grieve in their own way to promote healing. ”
-Brandy Crigger, SBD student
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“Doulas provide support and comfort that can make such a noticeable difference to birth mothers and the fathers too. Support during bereavement can be life changing. Memories of loss will be replayed over and over and will be remembered for a lifetime and will be grasped for something to hold on to. A doula’s support can make the difference in those precious moments that will last a lifetime. At no other time in my life did I need support as much and at no other time was it as difficult to find. During loss the family is in shock it is hard to do basic life but at that moment you must make decisions you probably never considered before. To have the service of a doula to provide guidance, affirmation, preparation, and to justify feelings. To help remove fear so that the couple may bond with their precious child. This can make all the difference.”
-Ashleigh Gipson, SBD student
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Birth & Bereavement Blogs

If you use a blog to share about your baby(ies), you can add your link here so that other parents can find you.  Stillbirthday does not endorse any particular blog or writer.  If you are visiting another blog, you may encounter perspectives or experiences or expressions of language that may not always be very encouraging or healing.  Please use caution when visiting other blogs.  However, visiting other bloggers can be an excellent way to get to know other grieving families, and confirm even further that you are not alone.

You are also invited to share your story at stillbirthday, so that more families can connect with you.  You’re also invited to take a peek at our crafting resources, which includes tips and ideas related to journaling and blogging.

Just leave a comment below with the URL of your blog, and what it’s emphasis is, and this list will be updated to include yours.

Miscarriage Blogs

Stillbirth Blogs

Infertility Blogs

 

Difficult Diagnosis/Neonatal Death/Birth Emergencies/Loss after NICU Blogs

Diagnosis

Multiples

 

General Bereavement/Life after Loss

Inspiration/Religion

Elective Abortion Blogs

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Roe v. Grief

Bereavement faces many challenges.

The strikingly contradictory response to our bereavement from our loved ones who espouse strong religious, political or other personal beliefs can be quite jarring and indeed, even traumatizing.

Loved ones who espouse strong pro-life beliefs, specifically if they are someone who would be the quickest to say that elective abortion is the murder of a child, when they shun a mother who has experienced miscarriage or stillbirth be telling her, in word or action, to quickly “get over it”.

Loved ones who espouse strong pro-choice beliefs, specifically if they are someone who would be the quickest to proclaim freedom of a mother’s rights and choices, when they shun a mother who is experiencing bereavement and attempting to deny her the freedoms and the rights to explore and express her bereavement journey, these rights and freedoms they otherwise believe all mothers to have.

Dear loved ones, we need you to have an eye to your own hypocrisy, because it is wounding.  Whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, it isn’t actually Roe v. Grief, and we need you to become pro-healing.

 

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