These family rules apply to our social media support circle as well as our stillbirthday-based support circle.
**JOINING**
Individuals who join our circle first have the right to call this circle their safe space. If subsequent individual(s) join who are integral to the individual’s story yet detrimental to the person’s sense of safety, by the original person’s sharing this information with a moderator of the group, the subsequent individual will be promptly invited to leave the circle and/or join in private messaging with the moderator toward resolution.
**PARTICIPATING**
By joining our circle, you understand that we agree:
Each person’s grief is unique. While you may share some commonalities in your experiences, no two of you are exactly alike. Consequently, respect and accept both what you have in common with others and what is unique to each of you.
Grief is not a disease, and no “quick fix” exists for what you are feeling. Don’t set a specific timetable for how long it should take you or others to heal.
Feel free to talk about your grief. However, if someone in the group decides to listen without sharing, please respect his or her preference.
There is a difference between actively listening to what another person is saying and expressing your own grief. Make every effort not to interrupt when someone else is speaking.
Thoughts, feelings and experiences shared in this group will stay in this group. Respect others’ right to confidentiality. Do not use names of fellow participants in discussions outside the group.
Allow each person equal time to express himself or herself so a few people don’t monopolize the group’s time.
Attend each group meeting and be on time. If you decide to leave the group before this series of meetings is completed, be willing to discuss your decision with the group.
Avoid “advice giving” unless it is specifically requested by a group member. If advice is not solicited, don’t give it. If a group member poses a question, share ideas that helped you if you experienced a similar situation. Remember that this group is for support, not therapy.
Recognize that thoughts and feelings are neither right nor wrong. Enter into the thoughts and feelings of other group members without trying to change them.
Create an atmosphere of willing, invited sharing. If you feel pressured to talk but don’t want to, say so. Your right to quiet contemplation will be respected by the group.
Written by Dr. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Please translate these written words as needed into the spirit they represent for our online setting.
Posting Policy
some suggested points
I’d like to make sure that you understand that first and foremost, stillbirthday strives to maintain online safety. If any of the other members has a previous concern with you from a different forum, they know that they can private message one of the admins about it. If anyone has an issue, you will be transferred from the group to a private message situation until we can get it resolved. Those who are already here, want to keep this a safe group. This notice allows you to make a discreet exit should you have had a previous situation with someone in this group.
Please also know that this courtesy extends to you, once you have participated in the group. We want you to stay, and we want you to feel comfortable. If anyone joins the group who you have had a previous conflict with, please, know that you can private message one of the admins and we will strive to work it out.
I copied this from a beautiful, retired group called Grief Journeys, founded by Hope Wood.
When you post or comment it is published for all to see, do take time to consider if it is appropriate for public viewing or if it would be best to contact one of the Team Members.
Please be considerate & respectful in your posts or in replying to posts.
Whilst we do not expect or ask that all members believe what the Team Members or the Site Creator believes, please do not post about or promote mediums, psychics or séances
Please do not publish your phone number or address ~ this is to protect your privacy & for your safety
If you are posting about your Rainbow (subsequent) pregnancy please head your post ***Rainbow Post***
If you are posting about trying to conceive please head your post ***TTC Post***
If you are posting about a family member or close friend’s serious illness or death please head your post ***Sensitive Subject*** (Unless it is family or a very close friend please do not burden the heart and mind of grieving parents with thoughts and images of other children suffering or dying tragically)
If you are posting a prayer request please head your post ***Prayer Request*** as this helps it stand out and gain more support
Sometimes even really great news, while people can be happy about it, can also come at the wrong time depending on the day someone is having. Please head your post ***Sensitive Post***
If you have a problem with someone’s posting, please contact one of the Team Members.
As Team Members of the stillbirthday support club, we reserve the right to moderate posts and comments and we will contact the person posting to explain our reasons for removing it.
We will immediately remove any posts that are abusive, libellous, obscene, pornographic, illegal, disruptive, intimidating, profane, racist, derogatory, defamatory, or threatening.
Any community members who are seen to be harassing, bullying, abusing, discriminating, persecuting or intimidating other community members will be banned from stillbirthday support club and may be reported to Facebook.
**STRENGTHENING OUR CIRCLES**
We each need multi-dimensional circles. While we offer this circle as an online opportunity, and do strive to offer various activities, themes or events for us to participate in, we understand that we not only can, but truly should, integrate other resources and support around us. We recognize the frustration at times of having to build such a support for ourselves, but that this frustration does not negate the essential and fundamental truth that we are all, each, worthy of receiving love, validation, counsel and healing that is most beneficial to our journey. As such, we take care to enforce this truth as an offering of validation to one another by firstly making mention here, in our fundamental document, that resources to strengthen our circles are absolutely available and worth our consideration.
01.} Bereavement support suggestions we can share with loved ones:https://www.stillbirthday.com/familyfriends/
02.} Bereavement support for children:
03.} Bereavement support based on location:
04.} Stillbirthday doulas by location, who also can offer referrals and networking:
EMERGENCY | CRISIS
STRONGER SUPPORT
includes these phone numbers and more:
First Candle offers 24/7 phone support in English and Spanish: 800.221.7437 lori@firstcandle.org
COPEline offers phone support (leave a message if it’s after hours and a volunteer will call you back): 516.364.COPE (2673)
National Council of Jewish Women free phone support (212) 687-5030 ext. 28 or at plsp@ncjwny.org
US National Suicide Prevention Hotline offers 24/7 confidential support: 800.273.TALK
Grassroots Crisis Hotline: 410.531.6677
SIDS Hotline (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome): 800.232.SIDS (7437)
Focus on the Family Christian counseling hotline and resources
Canada Crisis Line: 888.322.3019
Canada Suicide Prevention Hotline: 877.435.7170
If you have an emergency or need to find support from a Stillbirthday Birth and Bereavement Doula, please send a FB message to Lauren Bishop, Stillbirthday Chief Services Officer.
Please visit www.stillbirthday.com for more resources and information.
You are not alone. Please know you don’t have to walk this journey alone.
SBD® Affiliated Pages & Groups
Follow us on all of our affiliated pages!
stillbirthday support — this group!
Connect with SBD Doulas – SBD Doulas® page’s corresponding group where you can find your doula
SBD Open House – questions about becoming a doula
SBD Admissions – a place for newly registered doula students
Stillbirthday Birth & Bereavement Doulashttps://www.facebook.com/Stillbirth…
Military Birth & Bereavement Doulashttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Mili…
Doula für Geburts- und Trauerbegleitung {Germany}https://www.facebook.com/stillbirth…
Doula en Nacimiento y Duelo {Spain}https://www.facebook.com/pages/Doul… Postpartum Birth & Bereavement Doula https://www.facebook.com/groups/488… Lactation after Losshttps://www.facebook.com/groups/274…
(Original) Stillbirthday Support {private group for healing support}https://www.facebook.com/groups/110…
Stillbirthday Main Facebook Pagehttps://www.facebook.com/stillbirth… Stillbirthday Universityhttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Stil…
{SBD Founder Page}https://www.facebook.com/heidifaith…
Love Wildlyhttps://www.facebook.com/pages/Love…
The M0M Centerhttps://www.facebook.com/m0mcenter?…
Love Steps Forward with Stillbirthdayhttps://www.facebook.com/lovestepsf… Adoption Doulashttps://www.facebook.com/adoptiondo…
SBD Registry pagehttps://www.facebook.com/SBD-Regist…
SBD Doula pages—> this is such an awesome, and growing, list, so I need to find an awesome way to share it! <—
Interactive Themes
A goal we aspire to return to…
January, February, March
COUPLE/MARRIAGE GROWTH – the general emphasis will be on couple/marriage development. We may use a book that we can all check out from our local libraries and split it up into weekly reading, reviews, projects, or thoughts. We may focus on the different needs of each partner, how they impact each other, and how spouses grieve individually and together. Would you like to lead this theme?
April, May, June
SPIRITUAL GROWTH – the general emphasis will be on working through the spiritual aspects of pregnancy and infant loss, particularly according to scripture. We may take a look at different pregnancy loss based Bible studies and devotionals. Our focus will be on learning more about God through loss. Would you like to lead this theme?
July, August, September
LOVED ONES GROWTH – the general emphasis will be on working through the expectations we have of our family, friends and coworkers. We may take a look at different personal stories of what has worked and what hasn’t worked in communicating our needs to our loved ones. Additionally, this segment may include approaches to personal growth, including how we communicate with ourselves and learning how to speak positively of and value ourselves. Would you like to lead this theme?
October, November, December
COMMUNITY/OUTSIDE/NETWORK GROWTH – the general emphasis will be on working together to generate collaborative efforts to raise public awareness of important issues related to pregnancy and infant loss. We may take a look at things like politics, awareness campaigns, and how to attract more people to recognize the importance of pregnancy and infant loss support. Would you like to lead this theme?
