Something happened. Something was… different.
You came to stillbirthday, you looked through our list of losses that we support, read a few of their descriptions – in particular, Chemical Pregnancy.
You looked at some of the photos we hold here at stillbirthday.
But… you’re just not sure.
Everything seemed to happen so fast:
You felt pregnant, and then all of a sudden, you were met with blood.
Maybe lots of blood, and maybe with deeply painful cramping.
No real pregnancy test, there just wasn’t time.
This was… something different.
There are many reasons why your cycle might change, even abruptly.
Sudden stress, including financial, social, or marital stress might impact your menstrual cycle.
Deep and longstanding stress might also impact your menstrual cycle.
Nutrition and self care also might have an impact.
Some mothers report a change in menstrual cycle after a big move, and there is something to be said for large sorority-type events that have a strong emphasis on women or motherhood. Examples might include women’s rape survivor rallies, sexual trafficking fundraising or women’s rights in childbirth conferences.
These things and more might have an otherwise unexplained change in your menstrual cycle.
Additionally, through our season of our menstruation, it is entirely possible, and even medically normal, to have an occasional menstrual cycle that is simply different.
And by different, any number of experiences might occur:
Your menstrual cycle might appear later, sooner, lighter or heavier than you usually experience.
If you have discussed these things with your doctor or midwife and still just feel unsure about what you experienced,
please know that here at stillbirthday, we honor your uncertainty.
The feeling of uncertainty isn’t easier and it surely isn’t simpler than bereavement.
Many mothers will resolve themselves to
“Well, I’ll never know this side of eternity.”
And that can be a lonely, painful place to be.
Please know, you aren’t alone.
And in a time that seems so very fast moving, with answers for most things readily available, even for early pregnancy tests, it can seem frustrating and disappointing not to have a certain answer.
If you believe you may have experienced loss but don’t have anything to “prove” it, we validate you.
You are invited to share your story here as well: please remember that sharing your story at stillbirthday is a way to express your feelings and share your experiences with other mothers – it is not to diagnose, treat or answer any medical questions.
You might visit our farewell celebrations for ideas to celebrate your “Maybe Baby”.
