Selective Reduction

& TFMR Resources

This section includes facing the decision of termination for medical reasons in a singleton (TMFR) 
or in a multiples pregnancy (selective reduction).

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Selective Reduction is a difficult decision families may face when pregnant with multiples.  If one or more multiple potentially pose a danger to the health or wellbeing of the mother and/or siblings, the pressure to face this difficult decision may be even greater. Because there are many different facets to such a difficult decision, we’ve divided them here to start with a general platform, simply to remind you that very fact – that there are many facets to such a difficult decision.

Regarding Loss after Medically Assisted Conception

Regarding Selective Reduction specifically Here are external links to resources that are specific to selective reduction:

  • In Embracing Laura , Martha Wegner-Hay tells her story of grief and joy after discovering she was pregnant with twins, that one twin would not survive, and giving birth to her healthy son, David. After being told that one of her twins had almost no chance of survival and that the sick baby could affect the chance of survival of the healthy twin, Wegner-Hay and her family made the difficult choice of selective reduction. Embracing Laura tells of the wrenching collision of sadness at Laura’s death, and the joyous experience of David’s healthy birth.
  • Outside the Circle of Grief

Regarding Decisions & Loss

  • Prenatal Testing support
  • In a deep desire to be sensitive, one of the facets of such a decision does include TFMR (termination for medical reasons), the intentional termination of life of one or more of the babies, and so with this introduction to this facet you might visit our starting place for elective abortion as it does hold information that may be applied into the very specific situation of TFMR such as selective reduction as well.

Regarding NICU

  • The NICU can be a difficult place to be in, emotionally, for any reason you may be there.  Our NICU support resources are here to help.

Regarding Multiples

  • Here is our start page regarding multiples, which links to additional outside resources for pregnancy challenges and support, birth plans and bereavement support.
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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

— Paulo Coelho

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.

— John Calvin
«    5 of 16    »


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