My Baby is Intact

The pink & blue ribbon depicts infertility, prematurity, and pregnancy and infant loss. It is now being used by those who espouse an anti-circumcision campaign in developed countries, by comparing to, but not striving to cease, female genital mutilation in underdeveloped countries. Circumcision or not may be a worthy debate, but the issues surrounding our babies being “intact” when we endure pregnancy and infant loss cut deeper than foreskin.

Pregnancy and infant loss not only impact parents emotionally and physically, but it can impact parents medically, legally, and spiritually, too.

There are a number of situations in which a mother may wonder or even worry about the eternal perfection of her miscarried or stillborn baby, when the temporal form of his or her body has been altered.

Can your baby enter Heaven in perfect condition, regardless of the physical location of his or her body? 

Can your baby enter Heaven in perfect condition, regardless of the physical condition of his or her body?

If your baby was not “buried”, will your baby enter Heaven?  Will this impact what happens at the Resurrection?

Here are a couple of scenerios in which these concerns may present themselves:

“I could not identify my baby’s body, and so I flushed.”

“I was so overwhelmed by what was happening, I believed flushing to be my only option.”

“I was in a public location and so believed flushing to be my only option.”

“My baby was born via D&C or D&E.”

“My baby’s physical form underwent a complete autopsy.”

“Individual or group cremation is the only option my hospital or funeral home provided.”

“We decided on organ or tissue donation.”

Ezekiel 37:1-11:

The hand of the LORD was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign LORD, you alone know.”

Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.’”

So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

1 Thessalonians 4:14-18:

For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.

1 Corinthians 15:42-57:

So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.

If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being”; the last Adam, a life-giving spirit. The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. The first man was of the dust of the earth; the second man is of heaven. As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the heavenly man, so also are those who are of heaven. And just as we have borne the image of the earthly man, so shall webear the image of the heavenly man.

I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

“Where, O death, is your victory?    Where, O death, is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 8:17:

and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:10:

who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him.

2 Timothy 2:11-12:

It is a trustworthy statement:

For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him; If we endure, we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He also will deny us;

God has the ultimate power – even over death, and even over our babies’ physical bodies – regardless of their condition or place. 

You have a responsibility to trust that power, and to submit to Him in your own life.  You baby is most assuredly with God.  Is God with you?  Ask Him into your heart, and let Him lead you through the rest of your life.

For more information about other biblical questions regarding pregnancy loss, please visit The Answers.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

— C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

I am strong.

— January, founder of Birth Without Fear

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

— John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite.

— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
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