Shopping for Adoption

When someone says, “well at least you can just adopt” they are, intentionally or not, sending the message that one can simply run to WalMart and pick out a baby.

It’s not that simple.

Adoption can be a difficult and emotional process, for all involved: for the pregnant mother, for the intending parents, and for the baby.

Each person deserves to be supported, and supported well.

Our SBD Doulas have knowledge and resources available to them in their training to help support families considering adoption, including in particular, the element of bereavement that might accompany the desire to adopt from the intending family, and the subsequent bereavement that the pregnant mother may feel after the adoption transition.

In recent news, a pregnant teen girl was kidnapped and forced to drive her car to the location of the intending parents. The kidnapper has been arrested, and the reports indicate that the pregnant mother is safe, after intentionally crashing the car into a parked police car, which is how the kidnapper was caught and the situation came into the news.

Grief is real.

I speak only for myself when I say that, I know that there are those within my own “demographic” of Christian conservatives, who approach their position in what I can only say a sloppy way. Adoption itself is no quick fix to anything. It requires excellent support, for everyone involved.

Additionally, our country is currently seeing a lot of homosexual marriage controversy. Homosexual couples looking into adoption face potential rejection from assisted reproductive clinics, and potential issues regarding Second Parent Adoption.

I’m not asking you what your views are on adoption in general, as an alternative to elective abortion, or homosexual partners adopting.

I’m simply sharing with you, that couples yearning to feel like parents just can’t go shopping for adoption like you might think.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

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She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

— C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

I am strong.

— January, founder of Birth Without Fear

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

— John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite.

— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

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BECOME A DOULA!

Enroll now in the Birth & Bereavement Doula® program!

We onboard enrolled students into the program by email invitation.

After tuition, you can email heidi.faith@stillbirthday.com directly to expedite this step. Alternatively, if you prefer fb communications, you can join us in Admissions.