Shopping for Adoption

When someone says, “well at least you can just adopt” they are, intentionally or not, sending the message that one can simply run to WalMart and pick out a baby.

It’s not that simple.

Adoption can be a difficult and emotional process, for all involved: for the pregnant mother, for the intending parents, and for the baby.

Each person deserves to be supported, and supported well.

Our SBD Doulas have knowledge and resources available to them in their training to help support families considering adoption, including in particular, the element of bereavement that might accompany the desire to adopt from the intending family, and the subsequent bereavement that the pregnant mother may feel after the adoption transition.

In recent news, a pregnant teen girl was kidnapped and forced to drive her car to the location of the intending parents. The kidnapper has been arrested, and the reports indicate that the pregnant mother is safe, after intentionally crashing the car into a parked police car, which is how the kidnapper was caught and the situation came into the news.

Grief is real.

I speak only for myself when I say that, I know that there are those within my own “demographic” of Christian conservatives, who approach their position in what I can only say a sloppy way. Adoption itself is no quick fix to anything. It requires excellent support, for everyone involved.

Additionally, our country is currently seeing a lot of homosexual marriage controversy. Homosexual couples looking into adoption face potential rejection from assisted reproductive clinics, and potential issues regarding Second Parent Adoption.

I’m not asking you what your views are on adoption in general, as an alternative to elective abortion, or homosexual partners adopting.

I’m simply sharing with you, that couples yearning to feel like parents just can’t go shopping for adoption like you might think.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

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Miscarriages are labor, miscarriages are birth. To consider them less dishonors the woman whose womb has held life, however briefly.

— Kathryn Miller Ridiman

Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave.

— Joseph Hall

Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh.

— Robert Bolt

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The road to the sacred leads through the secular.

— Abraham Joshua Heschel

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