Things We Don’t Say

Grief is hard enough as it is.  Sometimes, we may have feelings that can serve to threaten an already fragile structure.

But our own silence of these things can be just as damaging as the silence our society has toward pregnancy and infant loss.

Here, is a little list, to serve as a platform for future posts.

These are things in addition to the already many feelings we know about bereavement – feeling isolated, misunderstood, silenced.

 

If you resonate with any of these, or if there’s one you’d like to see on the list, you can comment below, or you can email privately to Heidi.Faith@stillbirthday.com.

  • I felt relief.  At any point, there was a sense of relief.
  • I felt anger toward my baby.  At some point in the pregnancy or birth, I felt anger toward my baby.
  • I really might be depressed.  I want to say it isn’t so, but, it might be.
  • I feel confused as to what I grieve and how much I grieve.
  • I feel angry at my surviving children and/or my spouse, because they either don’t understand my grief or they distract me from its work.
  • I feel angry at God and/or at faith in general.
  • I feel angry at my body.
  • I feel insecure, threatened and angry at other people’s interpretations of loss, dying, or life after death.
  • Issues and pains from long ago have resurfaced because of my loss.

Please know that you are not alone, if you have felt these or other things.  We have a large support section here at stillbirthday, including emergency support.

 

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
«    15 of 16    »

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.

— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

If a physician of high standing, and one’s own husband, assures friends and relatives that there is really nothing the matter with one but temporary nervous depression—the very worst thing I can do is to think about my condition—what is one to do? . . .
Personally, I disagree with their ideas . . .

— Charlotte, The Yellow Wallpaper

What a beautiful mess she left behind.

— Franchesca Cox

Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?

— Jesus

Zeroes count.

— stillbirthday
«    15 of 16    »


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