Things We Don’t Say

Grief is hard enough as it is.  Sometimes, we may have feelings that can serve to threaten an already fragile structure.

But our own silence of these things can be just as damaging as the silence our society has toward pregnancy and infant loss.

Here, is a little list, to serve as a platform for future posts.

These are things in addition to the already many feelings we know about bereavement – feeling isolated, misunderstood, silenced.

 

If you resonate with any of these, or if there’s one you’d like to see on the list, you can comment below, or you can email privately to Heidi.Faith@stillbirthday.com.

  • I felt relief.  At any point, there was a sense of relief.
  • I felt anger toward my baby.  At some point in the pregnancy or birth, I felt anger toward my baby.
  • I really might be depressed.  I want to say it isn’t so, but, it might be.
  • I feel confused as to what I grieve and how much I grieve.
  • I feel angry at my surviving children and/or my spouse, because they either don’t understand my grief or they distract me from its work.
  • I feel angry at God and/or at faith in general.
  • I feel angry at my body.
  • I feel insecure, threatened and angry at other people’s interpretations of loss, dying, or life after death.
  • Issues and pains from long ago have resurfaced because of my loss.

Please know that you are not alone, if you have felt these or other things.  We have a large support section here at stillbirthday, including emergency support.

 

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
«    3 of 16    »

Miscarriages are labor, miscarriages are birth. To consider them less dishonors the woman whose womb has held life, however briefly.

— Kathryn Miller Ridiman

Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave.

— Joseph Hall

Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh.

— Robert Bolt

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The road to the sacred leads through the secular.

— Abraham Joshua Heschel
«    3 of 16    »


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