Things We Don’t Say

Grief is hard enough as it is.  Sometimes, we may have feelings that can serve to threaten an already fragile structure.

But our own silence of these things can be just as damaging as the silence our society has toward pregnancy and infant loss.

Here, is a little list, to serve as a platform for future posts.

These are things in addition to the already many feelings we know about bereavement – feeling isolated, misunderstood, silenced.

 

If you resonate with any of these, or if there’s one you’d like to see on the list, you can comment below, or you can email privately to Heidi.Faith@stillbirthday.com.

  • I felt relief.  At any point, there was a sense of relief.
  • I felt anger toward my baby.  At some point in the pregnancy or birth, I felt anger toward my baby.
  • I really might be depressed.  I want to say it isn’t so, but, it might be.
  • I feel confused as to what I grieve and how much I grieve.
  • I feel angry at my surviving children and/or my spouse, because they either don’t understand my grief or they distract me from its work.
  • I feel angry at God and/or at faith in general.
  • I feel angry at my body.
  • I feel insecure, threatened and angry at other people’s interpretations of loss, dying, or life after death.
  • Issues and pains from long ago have resurfaced because of my loss.

Please know that you are not alone, if you have felt these or other things.  We have a large support section here at stillbirthday, including emergency support.

 

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
«    5 of 16    »

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

— Paulo Coelho

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.

— John Calvin
«    5 of 16    »


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