Things We Don’t Say

Grief is hard enough as it is.  Sometimes, we may have feelings that can serve to threaten an already fragile structure.

But our own silence of these things can be just as damaging as the silence our society has toward pregnancy and infant loss.

Here, is a little list, to serve as a platform for future posts.

These are things in addition to the already many feelings we know about bereavement – feeling isolated, misunderstood, silenced.

 

If you resonate with any of these, or if there’s one you’d like to see on the list, you can comment below, or you can email privately to Heidi.Faith@stillbirthday.com.

  • I felt relief.  At any point, there was a sense of relief.
  • I felt anger toward my baby.  At some point in the pregnancy or birth, I felt anger toward my baby.
  • I really might be depressed.  I want to say it isn’t so, but, it might be.
  • I feel confused as to what I grieve and how much I grieve.
  • I feel angry at my surviving children and/or my spouse, because they either don’t understand my grief or they distract me from its work.
  • I feel angry at God and/or at faith in general.
  • I feel angry at my body.
  • I feel insecure, threatened and angry at other people’s interpretations of loss, dying, or life after death.
  • Issues and pains from long ago have resurfaced because of my loss.

Please know that you are not alone, if you have felt these or other things.  We have a large support section here at stillbirthday, including emergency support.

 

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
«    9 of 16    »

A pregnancy loss is still a birthday.

— stillbirthday

At the moment of childbirth, every woman has the same aura of isolation, as though she were abandoned, alone.

— Boris Pasternak

Childbirth changed my perception of my wife. She was now the bloodied special forces soldier who had fought and risked everything for our family.

— Mohsin Hamid

We should work to guarantee that there is a midwife or health worker by every woman’s side during childbirth.

— Liya Kebede

It is incumbent upon us to respond to the unique needs of military women and ensure they receive proper care during the first year following childbirth.

— Susan Collins
«    9 of 16    »


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