Shared by: A Stillbirthday Mother

A part of our Love Letters to Our Bodies

I was pregnant in 2007.  At 23 weeks I made the ultrasound morphology (4D).

Unfortunately, my baby had a problem – my baby had no eyes and likely problems on the brain.  There is no cure for it.

I had three days to decide…

So I made a birth induction.  In the hospital, I didn’t want to touch my belly, afraid to get too attached.  When I came back home, my baby belly was not to see anymore – no stretch marks – it looked like nothing happened.

When we made the decision, I hoped to not see an empty container.  I had lost a great deal of my weight, and it has taken years to resume it.  Also, my breasts became very small, from an M to a XS-S.

I hated to see my skinny body in the mirror.

After time, I started to re-touch my belly.  Now, I have a special balm for my navel, for homeopathic support of my feminine body, and to be in contact with this part of my body in the hopes of welcoming new life.