Told by: Lacie
In the late fall/early winter of 2006, my husband and I found out that we were expecting our first child! We were overjoyed! Our Christmas haul that year was all stuff for our new bundle of joy. We even bought all of our siblings buttons to reveal that we were expecting.
Each appointment went so smoothly! We even gave our baby a gender neutral nickname (because we were not going to find out the sex of the baby). We just called the baby, Babe B.
Afterall, my husband has always called me “Babe” and the baby was version B of me (at least he thought). Our baby moved constantly! I am a music teacher and it seemed that as I played the hand drum for my kindergarteners, our baby would kick right along with the beat! And Lord forbid I forget to turn the music on in the car when I got in. I had my baby shower a few weeks before my due date so that we could find out if there was anything else we needed to get before the baby came. When I hit the 37 week mark, I was supposed to go in for my normal appointment, but the doctor had to cancel due to the delivery of another baby. So my appointment was rescheduled for the following Monday.
Little did we know, this was a blessing in disguise. We had a normal busy weekend. Monday rolled around and we were both looking forward to our appointment to see the OB. I hadn’t noticed the baby moving much that day and was a little concerned, but I was in my 37th week. I told myself the baby was resting to get ready for birth. We got to the doctor’s office and he asked about baby’s movement. He was worried about the lack of movement, so he immediately got the doppler out. Silence…Trying not to alarm us, he said sometimes babies move and we just can hear their heart as well. So off to the sonogram room we went. I immediately knew something was not right.
Our baby was so calm and our baby was bouncing around the last time we had a sono done! He confirmed our worst fears. Our baby’s heart was no longer beating. Our baby was no longer alive. We decided to go home that night and pray and rest and then go in for induction the next day. This allowed us to lean on the support of our family and friends which proved to be invaluable!
Babe B. Hutchins was born sleeping on July 11, 2007 just before dinnertime. She had dark curly hair. She looked like her daddy! She had mommy’s feet though! It was the best and the worst day of our lives all wrapped up into one. We were able to hold her, read to her, and had a professional photographer from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep take pictures for us. We also are blessed to be in one of the only communities in the world that has a special non-profit bereavement service specifically for premature, stillborn, infant and babies under one year of age; AgapeCare Cradle. This organization provided us with much more than funeral services. We just celebrated Babe B.’s 6th birthday with a traditional balloon release. We have since had two healthy beautiful children (one of whom was born a year, a month and 5 days after Babe B.). Our son shares many similar physical and personality characteristics with his sister. They have both been brought up knowing that we have a member of our family who is already in Heaven and whom we will see someday! I am so thankful for the support I had around me through those dark days. It has helped me heal so much. I think my experience has made me a better mother and a better person. I only hope I can be a support to others in their time of need!
