I Know You are There

Shared by: Karen

Doug,

My heart is breaking yet again. I don’t even know what to say to you. Losing Rebekah all those years ago was so terribly hard. You saw how I suffered her loss. You were there for me no matter how low I got. You stayed with me in the delivery room and supported me through the whole process. You worried about me and suffered with me, but never made me feel I shouldn’t be so sad.

I was still mourning her loss when you became ill a year later. Going through the two years of illness with you before you joined her in heaven was so hard. It took me years, and I don’t think I ever truly recovered. It did help in some small measure to think of the two of you being together. And now, Doug, our oldest son has joined you in heaven. His loss was so sudden, I’m still reeling. It still doesn’t seem quite real. I so wish you were here to help me through this.

Derrick missed you so much. I am sure he was very excited to see you and his sister. I have always felt you and Rebekah up there watching over us. Now Derrick will too. We need your help to take care of the children. I got ours raised, but now Derrick’s children will be growing up without their dad. It doesn’t seem right for this to be happening again, but I know you are with up. While I wish you were still here to comfort me, at least I know you are with my lost babies. I’m glad to know you continue to be there for me and to keep taking care of the babies you have with you.

Your loving wife,

Karen

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

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She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

— C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

I am strong.

— January, founder of Birth Without Fear

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

— John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite.

— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

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