She Brings Light

Told by: Angie

When I was 18 I got pregnant. My husband (boyfriend then) joined the Navy so we could afford to feed baby. While he was in boot camp I lost our baby. We got married when he came back on leave and a few months later I found out I was pregnant again. By the next ultrasound the baby’s heart had stopped beating. This kept happening over the years. Once I did not even know I was pregnant. I went into the ER because of the pain and random bleeding that had started. I think I knew what was happening but I didn’t want to believe it.
April 2008 we decided to try one last time. We planned it out, tried, conceived and were thrilled. First appointment went well. Our baby was growing and I felt great. We moved to another state very quickly with the navy and when I went in for my next appointment the baby had died. I went into labor that night and delivered our little 12 week baby. We were done. Both of us sank into a despair that I thought we would not come out of.

After a few months we decided we were done with it all and started to plan our divorce. I managed to pack up all the baby things we had collected over the years and donate them. Then two months later I got pregnant again. This time it worked! I gave birth to the prettiest, toughest, most happy baby I have ever seen. She is one of a kind and the light of my life! She really is the beautiful rainbow after the storm.

After all these years I can finally let go of the sadness. Thank you for providing a place to do that.

This is my sunshine on her first day in the world and now three years later.

sunshine1

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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I would not undo his existence just to undo my pain.

Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them.

— George Eliot

Much more than pro-life or pro-choice, I am pro-healing.

— an SBD Doula

I had seen birth and death but had thought they were different.

— T.S. Eliot

Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurrying.

— Jean Cocteau
«    1 of 16    »


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HOW OUR HEARTS RELEASE BEGAN
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