The Not Knowing

Told by: LC

I think I was pregnant once. I felt sick constantly for two weeks and my whole body felt strange. I experienced nausea whenever there was food in my stomach and sometimes even when I hadn’t eaten anything at all. In those two weeks I felt bound by a torment, not only because I was physically sick but I was living with the uncertainty that I was carrying my first child and that I could not keep it. Eventually I bled and knew that I wasn’t pregnant but there’s no other way to explain what I experienced. I thought feeling sick was torment but not knowing what happened to me and possibly my baby is the true hell.

Since I will never know if I lost a baby, I will never be able to mourn.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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Miscarriages are labor, miscarriages are birth. To consider them less dishonors the woman whose womb has held life, however briefly.

— Kathryn Miller Ridiman

Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave.

— Joseph Hall

Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh.

— Robert Bolt

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The road to the sacred leads through the secular.

— Abraham Joshua Heschel
«    3 of 16    »


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