Confusion in Grief

Told by: Leah

Just thought to share my story of my miscarriage of a blighted ovum. This confused me for quite awhile after as was not sure how to react. One minute thinking I may be pregnant then miscarriage. My daughter was about 3 and a half at the time and though not planned was a lovely surprise. I was a few weeks along when I miscarried. This was traumatic as I went to my local doctors and saw a very young doctor who was not sure how to react himself.

I then went on to have three internal examinations as I went to three hospitals (though still not sure quite why).

Having an internal was not very pleasant with a doppler as being distressed and very confused. The staff were all very nice of course.

April 16 is the day I remember. My partner was probably confused at the time and not terribly supportive. Being told it was very common did not help either, plus my recent visit to the dentist I felt I had somehow caused it with the treatment I had. Still fuzzy on when I told the dental nurse that I may be pregnant but the look on her face I do remember. I remember thinking it was not a real baby yet so it’s not so bad..

Which sounds terrible to me, but an easier way to deal with it. Recently on TV there was a program on miscarriage; I told my children then (16 and 12) My son asked the most questions. which I answered as best as I could.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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Miscarriages are labor, miscarriages are birth. To consider them less dishonors the woman whose womb has held life, however briefly.

— Kathryn Miller Ridiman

Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave.

— Joseph Hall

Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little. And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself whether that day or the next he will draw nigh.

— Robert Bolt

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The road to the sacred leads through the secular.

— Abraham Joshua Heschel
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