Confusion in Grief

Told by: Leah

Just thought to share my story of my miscarriage of a blighted ovum. This confused me for quite awhile after as was not sure how to react. One minute thinking I may be pregnant then miscarriage. My daughter was about 3 and a half at the time and though not planned was a lovely surprise. I was a few weeks along when I miscarried. This was traumatic as I went to my local doctors and saw a very young doctor who was not sure how to react himself.

I then went on to have three internal examinations as I went to three hospitals (though still not sure quite why).

Having an internal was not very pleasant with a doppler as being distressed and very confused. The staff were all very nice of course.

April 16 is the day I remember. My partner was probably confused at the time and not terribly supportive. Being told it was very common did not help either, plus my recent visit to the dentist I felt I had somehow caused it with the treatment I had. Still fuzzy on when I told the dental nurse that I may be pregnant but the look on her face I do remember. I remember thinking it was not a real baby yet so it’s not so bad..

Which sounds terrible to me, but an easier way to deal with it. Recently on TV there was a program on miscarriage; I told my children then (16 and 12) My son asked the most questions. which I answered as best as I could.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

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A miracle is really the only way to describe motherhood and giving birth. It’s unbelievable how God has made us women and babies to endure and be able to do so much. A miracle, indeed. Such an incredible blessing.

— Jennie Finch

I honor you. {I DO}ula.

— an SBD Doula

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.

— Stendhal

Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality.

— Erich Fromm

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

— Mark Twain

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