She was My Daughter Too

Told by: Pierre

I’m a husband and father of two daughters and my wife and I recently loss our angel Amia almost eight months ago.

During my wife’s pregnancy everything was going pretty well and to be expecting another girl again was a joy. Amia was our Christmas gift and our 3 year old Laidia couldn’t be happier to be a big sister. You never think that you will say hello and good-bye to your baby and death is not even a second thought.

After we loss Amia and was told that she didn’t have a heartbeat while my wife was in labor was one of the most horrible day of my life.

I feel so invisible because I’m always being told to take care of my wife and family but I need help to do that as well. I feel unwanted and like I don’t even matter or just not needed. Everyone is concerned about my wife and they should be but I witnessed the whole thing. I feel like a man is expected to not show emotions and to get over it but she was my daughter too.

My wife and I still can talk about the loss and I know we’re on this journey together but I feel like no one understands or hears me when I speak. We’re trying to pick our lives up the best way we can but there’s not a lot of support or people that we can relate to and I hope we can soon. I’ve been depressed, stressed, angry and not wanting to be around anyone. I hope this journey through grief and loss with get easier and I can learn to cope better.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

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She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

— C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

I am strong.

— January, founder of Birth Without Fear

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

— John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite.

— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

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