I Am Sorry

What do you say to a mother whose baby has died?

We bereaved mothers have a simple yet impassioned cry

please, begin with, “I’m Sorry.”

We bereaved mothers believe this ought to be a simple concept, and a simple thing to do.  After all, you are not actually even taking responsibility of the cause of the death of the baby or even the cause of the person’s bereavement.  Yet, receiving the simple message of “I’m sorry” seems to be something so very many of us struggle with actually getting from our loved ones.

I wonder why that is.

I have challenged myself to consider that perhaps it is, in part (among other very real social issues) because, we tend to have a culture that is not sorry-friendly.

Apologizing is hard to do.

It seems it’s nearly always met with internal struggle, and sometimes, outward struggle as well.  Will our apology be accepted?  Will it make us vulnerable?  Will that vulnerability be used against us?

I think most of us wrestle in some ways with apologizing.

So I am challenging myself, and inviting the public and all who read this, to help gently hold me accountable, to opportunities in which relationships and situations might best be served by beginning or including an apology.

Because, after a really good, richly deep, soul filled apology, one that includes empathy, compassion and love and leaves the blame, shame and fear behind, I have to tell you, the feeling truly is magnificently refreshing, intrinsically rewarding.   The feeling is goodness, and goodness is something worth striving for.

I-am-sorry

Will you take the challenge?

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

— Paulo Coelho

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.

— John Calvin
«    5 of 16    »


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