I’ve had an elective abortion. And, I am loved.

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Once a mother has made the decision of duration of life in utero by deciding to induce the labor and thereby forfeiting life saving or death delaying care of her baby, she will be faced with not only integrating her own definition of elective abortion into her life, but also the definitions, and opinions, and judgments, of others.

As she evaluates her experience, she may be met with justification that her story is the exception of judgment, that her story is within the grey, that her experience is perhaps permissible due to circumstance.

In fact, she may very much hope for this seeming redeeming feature and may even script her story accordingly.

And there are those who may embrace her story and more importantly embrace her simply for the individual she is, without regard to the experience.

And there are those who may hear her heartcry for validation and dogmatically dictate all the more, wagging their finger with closed hearts and the pursed lips of condemnation.

And there are those who may long to see restoration to her story.  Those who say, “I can come over to hug you, but first, I need to know that you are sorry.”

These are those who say that the judgment they harbor is righteous and who defend this right, this expectation and demand for clarity.

Confession is the first step in a real relationship with Jesus, which is the absolute foundation of all Christianity.  And so, as it pertains to elective abortion, we Christians can somehow, sometimes, feel we are owed the placement of authority it is to firstly, demand proof that the mother is repentant.  We call her anything from a murderer to a willing victim, and before we actually love her, we demand the articulation that she knows she has sinned.

If she’s courageous enough to share her story with a Christian, she may be met with smacked lips and without pause, the rebuttal.  The case for alternatives.  The reason the mother is not only a sinner, but a murderer.

As if this saves the life of the baby.

As if self-righteousness is righteous.

As if God is delighted in our accusatory tone and our condescending script of condemnation.

And so it is she may share her story with another Christian.  And all response again begins with condition.  It begins with the need for clarification.

And it’s got so much less to do with the mother than it does our own fear that somehow, we might accidentally sin.  We might accidentally send the message to the mother that somehow, we approve of her decision, and as such, that God approves of her decision.  We don’t want her to think that.

But more accurately, we are actually afraid that God will condemn us for not articulating precisely, that we disapprove of her decision.

And so, there is singly one support the fearful Christian may have to offer the mother, and that is a path toward forgiveness (God’s of course, but also our own).

Each and every encounter with a fearful Christian, she can expect that the depth of care and support that will be offered to her, if at all, will be information about forgiveness.

And so what happens, is that because she cannot ever get past the “Yes, I know, yes, I’ve sinned” she doesn’t reach anything further than our condemnation.

And so it is, we sin, out of fear.

To the mother who has faced elective abortion, the forgiveness of God is entire.  It is complete.

It is part of your relationship with God, and the part it plays is magnificent.  Truly.

And every Christian ought to be extremely familiar with the Lord’s Prayer, because it is in fact how the Lord instructed us to pray:


Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.


You see, we believers are in the endless pursuit of forgiveness: seeking God’s for our sins, and, working toward achieving our own forgiveness for the sins of others who sin against us.  And so it’s not totally preposterous that any individual would be presented with the subject of forgiveness.  The very act of becoming Christian is founded in part by the principle of seeking God’s forgiveness.

And, we are admonished to forgive others as often as it takes.

However, even forgiveness can become legalistic and even, yes, an idol.


When the Issue of Forgiveness Becomes a Barrier

The search for forgiveness becomes an obstacle toward actually achieving it, or anything further, when the person does not actually believe that they have obtained such forgiveness.

When you are reminded, endlessly, repetitiously, skeptically, suspiciously, fearfully, condemningly, to recite your acknowledgement of a specific sin and pursuit of forgiveness as a mandatory element of introduction.

Who wouldn’t feel discouraged?  Condemned?  Who wouldn’t exhaustedly seek another path toward peace and joy?

There is total forgiveness, immediate and thorough forgiveness, that only God can offer, and as a Christian, conservative mother who knows intimately full well the power of maternal bereavement, I am absolutely convinced that the same God who has forgiven my offenders for all they have premeditatedly murdered in my life, the same God who has forgiven all of my own shameful, dark sins, is the same God who, in but a single moment, can absolutely and totally redeem your heart, and place in you a new spirit, one who will beckon you with a love song of righteousness, calling you pure, naming you holy, and seeing you as victorious.

It is my responsibility not only to inform you that this endless love story is yours, but it is my responsibility to get out of the way that you can without any further hindrance, dare to lift your eyes to such goodness that is yours, and not to interrupt the path toward this most holy encounter, that you may obtain the most peace, joy and love that is yours to be had.

A scripted, rehearsed, and convinced self-righteousness is a counterfeit to the authentic righteousness that is yours when you experience the totality of renewal that cannot come from a vote, from a measure of popularity, from the opinions of others, from my opinion, or even from your own.   Redemption is yours.  And it is more than you can imagine.


Beyond Forgiveness

Oh, friend, there is more for you.

Not because I say it.

But simply, because you are inherently worthy.


I am absolutely certain that the God who is bigger than me, bigger than all those people who stood with lips pursed and arms crossed uneasily checking your sadness passport to make sure it has been stamped by a nice dose of smearing, staining, marks of condemnation and shame before you could ever dream of entering into a place of hope, bigger even than those calling out hypocrisy! to those customs agents genuflecting as they stamp your passport yet turn you away – I am absolutely certain that God has more to say, than anyone.

This is speaking strictly into a biblical framework, of course, so if you’re not interested, then simply consider that the information of this article just doesn’t apply to you.

But if you have wondered if, for gracious sake, there is anything more biblically to say in regard to your journey other than ensuring your self-loathing or at least your being the recipient of forgiveness, please know, there is much more.

I’m not perfect.

I sin.   All.The.Time.

And the God I know and love tells me, sings to me, whispers to me, shouts to me, that He is in the business of the endless pursuit of our entire souls.

I don’t have to introduce myself to each new person I meet with:

“Hi!  My name is Heidi Faith.  I think you should know that I am a sinner.  I wrestle with temptation, self-righteousness, sometimes I use swear words in my head, I slow down when I see a police officer because I constantly speed on the highway, and in other ways, I am quite often much less than awesome.”

And then, wait for your approval, before continuing on.

“But, I have asked God to forgive me of my sins and I believe that He has.”

The rest of us, we just don’t talk that way.

But some of us absolutely do expect mothers who have faced elective abortion to.

A need of proof of your apology.  Because elective abortion is worse than anything we have done.  And worse is scary. 

And we actually put what we believe to be the opinion of the baby who died above God’s mercy.

Listen, this is speaking into the situation after your baby has died.  And according to scripture – yes, according to scripture, your baby is in Heaven.  With the God of the universe, the same God who inspired the Holy Bible which tells us that there is no bitterness in Heaven.  There is no seeking of vengeance on the hearts of babies born through the decision of duration of life in utero.  If there were such a need for vengeance in Heaven, it would not be the perfect place that we know it to be.

Condemnation and conviction are not synonymous, vengeance is a counterfeit sanctification, and God is not in the business of counterfeit.

We really do need to be able to offer love without fear.


So I’m not interested in measuring the circumstances you were in, how your situation should be defined, or what labels you should wear or feelings you need to make sure you hold onto enough of.

I’m interested in flat telling you that there is more on this side of your journey than the unending search for, or disproving the need for, forgiveness.


So perhaps in totally brazen blasphemy, let me utter the truth that belongs at your access:

  1. If you are a mother who has faced elective abortion, you are loved.
  2. If you are a mother who has faced elective abortion, you can have peace.
  3. If you are a mother who has faced elective abortion, you can have victory.

Can you imagine?

Maybe, just maybe, there’s someone who just needed these words to fall upon your heart today.

If you’re interested in a biblical context to what may be nothing more than just this gal’s opinion, you can sort through the ramblings I’ve shared below, as they are founding principles to the facts stated above.  In the future, as the Holy Spirit leads, I will continue to build upon this compilation of scripturally founded encouragement for mothers who have faced elective abortion.  For now, perhaps there will be a message below that is read in a fresh way, and that will bring joy, peace and goodness into someone’s life, ultimately for His greatest glory.


a comparison of our sin (orange) with God’s goodness (green


All Fall Short

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God – Romans 3:23

Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. -Romans 1:29


The Glorification of Condemnation

Self rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life.”  -Henri J. Nouwen

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” -Matthew 11:28-29


A Case for Condemnation

For if the truth of God hath more abounded through my lie unto his glory; why yet am I also judged as a sinner?  And not rather, (as we be slanderously reported, and as some affirm that we say,) Let us do evil, that good may come? whose damnation is just.

What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin;

 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:
There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.

They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.  Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips:

Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness:
Their feet are swift to shed blood:
Destruction and misery are in their ways:
And the way of peace have they not known:
There is no fear of God before their eyes.  -Romans 3:7-18


(but when continued)

The Prostitution of Casting Stones

Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.

Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.

But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets;

Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:

Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;

 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith.

Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith without the deeds of the law.  -Romans 3:19-28


(and with a closer look)

The Adulterous Woman

–John 7:53-8:11


Repentance versus Repetition

For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. -Hebrews 10:26-27

But when a righteous person turns away from his righteousness and does injustice and does the same abominations that the wicked person does, shall he live? None of the righteous deeds that he has done shall be remembered; for the treachery of which he is guilty and the sin he has committed, for them he shall die. “Yet you say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ Hear now, O house of Israel: Is my way not just? Is it not your ways that are not just? When a righteous person turns away from his righteousness and does injustice, he shall die for it; for the injustice that he has done he shall die.  -Ezekiel 18:24-26

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. -Romans 7:15

For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.” -2 Peter 2:20-22


Legalistic Measures

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ -Matthew 7:21-23

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. -1 Corinthians 13:2


His Endless Pursuit of Our Salvation

Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. -Hebrews 7:25


The Impossible

There hath no temptation taken you but such as man can bear: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation make also the way of escape, that ye may be able to endure it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. -Philippians 1:6

Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, and of instruction about washings, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And this we will do if God permits.

For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt. For land that has drunk the rain that often falls on it, and produces a crop useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God. But if it bears thorns and thistles, it is worthless and near to being cursed, and its end is to be burned.

Though we speak in this way, yet in your case, beloved, we feel sure of better things—things that belong to salvation. For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for his name in serving the saints, as you still do. And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. -Hebrews 6:1-12


The Lenten Season

The Lenten season is counted by forty days, not counting Sundays, before Easter Sunday.  It is a season often marked with fasting and repentance.  The spiritual discipline is intended to draw us closer to the reality of Jesus’ suffering, sacrifice, life, death and resurrection.

The first day of the Lenten season is Ash Wednesday, which includes a ceremonious sprinkling or rubbing of the sign of the Cross upon the believer’s forehead.  The ash is made from the burnt palms used in worship in the Palm Sunday of the previous year.  In some congregations, Ash Wednesday includes the opportunity for members of the congregation to write onto small cards their sins, to be cremated with the palms, as a symbolic expression of their sin being totally transformed, and so the cross becomes an outward sign of sorrow and subsequent repentance, with the ultimate objective of learning and believing in the Gospel.

 “Repent, and believe in the Gospel.”  (Mark 1:15)


One Commandment

For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.  -Romans 13:9-10


The Old Way Has to Go

What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.  Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work. (emphasis added)

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift

Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.

Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. -Ephesians 4:25-32 (emphasis added)


The Itemization of the Key Doctrine of the Christian Faith (source)

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. -John 3:16

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. -John 3:17


Nothing Can Separate Us From God’s Love

I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. -John 10:28

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.  -Romans 8:32-39


God is Love

Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. -1John 4:11-12


Salvation and then Sanctification

Jesus’ death purchased our redemption, which is to say He rescued us because we needed rescuing.  The Good News of our redemption is called the Gospel.


Stewardship of Communication

We are merely instruments.  Our participation with God relies less on our abilities than on our availability.

Consider the five excuses of Moses:

  • “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”
  • “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”
  • “What if they do not believe me or listen to me?”
  • “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
  • “O Lord, please send someone else to do it.”

No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.  And He said, “Therefore I have said to you that no one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father.”  John 6:44, 65


Discipleship versus Condemnation

Now an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip, saying, “Arise and go toward the south along the road which goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” This is desert. So he arose and went. And behold, a man of Ethiopia, a eunuch of great authority under Candace the queen of the Ethiopians, who had charge of all her treasury, and had come to Jerusalem to worship, was returning. And sitting in his chariot, he was reading Isaiah the prophet. Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go near and overtake this chariot.” So Philip ran to him, and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he asked Philip to come up and sit with him.  The place in the Scripture which he read was this: “He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; And as a lamb before its shearer is silent, So He opened not His mouth. In His humiliation His justice was taken away, And who will declare His generation? For His life is taken from the earth.” So the eunuch answered Philip and said, “I ask you, of whom does the prophet say this, of himself or of some other man?” Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning at this Scripture, preached Jesus to him. Now as they went down the road, they came to some water. And the eunuch said, “See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptized?” Then Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.” So he commanded the chariot to stand still. And both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and he baptized him. Now when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught Philip away, so that the eunuch saw him no more; and he went on his way rejoicing.  -Acts 8:26-39


(and with a closer look)

The Samaritan Woman

-John 4

Through friendship, we make ourselves available to God’s Spirit, as people come into our life.


A Fear of Getting Too Close: An Inspection of Fruit

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. -Psalm 127: 3

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.  -Galatians 5:22-25

Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.  Thus you will recognize them by their fruits. -Matthew 7:15-20

Bringing souls into the kingdom of God is a direct attack on Satan’s domain.  Satan does not like his domain attacked; Satan however is powerless against the authority of Christ (Matthew 28:18).  However, we need to have a clear understanding of Satan’s power in the earthly realms.  Scripture calls him (Satan) the god of this age, this title, in scripture is defining the power we are up against. Satan is not someone we should take lightly, Peter calls him a lion, seeking whom he may devour (I Peter 5:8).

But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. -2 Corinthians 4:3-4

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, “that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. “For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?  -Matthew 5:44-46



Advancing the Gospel

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, Ephesians 6:18-19

“I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. Luke 15:7


The Great Commission

Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus had set for their reunion. The moment they saw him they worshiped him. Some, though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.

Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” -Matthew 28: 16-20


The Gifts

  • Regeneration / Salvation  (begins with forgiveness)
  • Healing  (doesn’t mean undoing but means integration)
  • Peace   (mental, psychological and/or spiritual rest)
  • Transformation  (more than restoration but is a new hope)
  • Victory  (the totality of completion, deeper than victim/survivor but actual victor)


The Requisites and Responsibilities

  • Confession  (begins with a seeking of forgiveness for any role played in any sin)
  • Surrender  (a willing submission to the newly unfolding course)
  • Repentance  (an active obedience to the new information)
  • Gratitude (a demonstrated recognition and appreciation for the gifts given on the course)
  • Sanctification (the ongoing maturation of confession, surrender, repentance and praise)


“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”  -Proverbs 3:5-6

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:7


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  1. Kathie Neff says:

    Thank you for this courageous post, Heidi. You continue to inspire me to love outrageously, in the same way God loves each one of us. I pray that we may try to out-do one another with kindness.

    We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23


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