Neglection

It’s election time.

And whenever it’s election time, elective abortion invariably becomes a central part of the debate.

The show of babies, tiny babies, broken into bits and pooled in blood make their way across the internet.

Some people are talking about elective abortion being murder.

Other people are talking about the rights of women and their control over their bodies.

 

This is also October.

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, as proclaimed by President Ronald Reagan in 1988.

 

Elective abortion aside,

 

Why is no one talking about the death of our babies?

Why is no one talking about “the woman’s body” as she experiences pregnancy loss?

Her out of “control” feeling as her deceased baby is born?

Her grief?

Her loss?

Why are photos of our beloved miscarried or stillborn babies censored?

Why is no one talking about the father’s role as his wife gives birth to his miscarried or stillborn baby?

His out of “control” feeling as his deceased baby is born?

His grief?

His loss?

I don’t need to see broken bits of babies to value my baby who died and who I gave birth to.

I want to see babies who are loved at all ages and sizes.  I want babies born at any age to be treated with as much dignity as they can be, to invite all families into a place of healing, not to see the method of their death to be further used as a weapon of condemnation or shame or fear.

I could have needed the medical assistance in the birth of my miscarried baby that is a D&C.

I could have needed a D&C, and the visuals I have been given – the same that are strewn throughout the internet – by those who hold the same values of life as I do, are horrific, traumatizing images.

These visuals actually serve to confuse and shame mothers into thinking that a D&C of a miscarried baby is the same as an elective abortion.

These visuals serve as an insult to the very babies they depict.  As a mother who faced the daunting decision that is elective abortion but chose, through my own self exploration against it, I would at least want my baby’s physical form treated with dignity, and not used as a fear tactic, a point of mockery and humiliation for other mothers who are also sorely undersupported and unloved.

These visuals should never replace the photos of our beloved miscarried or stillborn babies, photos that capture dignity, compassion, humanity and love.

Parental bereavement should not be so terribly and completely silenced and overlooked – of stillborn, miscarried, or elective aborted babies.

I am pro-life.

I am Christian.

I am a bereaved mother.

And I am disappointed.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
«    1 of 16    »

I would not undo his existence just to undo my pain.

Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them.

— George Eliot

Much more than pro-life or pro-choice, I am pro-healing.

— an SBD Doula

I had seen birth and death but had thought they were different.

— T.S. Eliot

Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurrying.

— Jean Cocteau
«    1 of 16    »


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