Still Together

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Yesterday, at the stillbirthday Facebook page, I shared this:

“In English folklore butterflies were said to be the souls of babies who had not yet been named.  The act of naming a child is believed to be a covenant that binds the baby to the physical world – now he is a member of our family and a wider community.” ~With Child

Following this, I extended an invitation to parents to share the names of their babies.  That names list is long and growing.

Last night, as I was thinking on the very different but very real ways we parent both our living and our deceased children, the thought occurred to me, that there are very few ways to parent all of our children, together.

Which brings me to this, that because we parent our deceased children, we are, in fact, still together.

So, there is now a place, at stillbirthday, where you can keep all of your children, still together, just like they are, in your heart.

Do you have a photo that includes your living and your deceased children together?  Ways might include:

  • A photo of you pregnant, while visiting your deceased child at the cemetery
  • A photo of one of your surviving children holding your deceased baby
  • A family photo that includes a special token of symbolism to represent your baby

If you don’t have such a photo, you can simply write the names of all of your children, living and deceased, together.  Just a simple little place, really, where you can come and see the names of all of your children, together.

How to share your Still Together entry:

Whether a photo or a written list of all of your children, you can share your Still Together entry by emailing to with “Still Together” as the subject line, or you can use the Share Your Story link.  Contributions are held in a special section of stillbirthday entitled Still Together.


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