My Boys

Told by: Jodie

In 2009 my 15 month old drowned.  Then on his 3rd birthday, I was 37 weeks pregnant and my placenta ruptured in delivering my stillborn son it was so hard being his brothers birthday.

And in April of last year I found out I was pregnant. I went my 30 week prenatal appointment on a Thursday, and my doctor said everything looked good,  then told me to come back in 2 weeks.

On Monday I felt sick so after I put my older kids on the bus I went back to bed. I woke up around 11 cramping, went to the bathroom and laid back down. After timing I  realized I was in was in labor and my right leg went numb. I called my husband, he came home and we went to the hospital. During an ultrasound it showed no heart beat, and they couldn’t find the placenta.

I delivered my stillborn son.   When they delivered the placenta they said it didn’t tear or rupture it actually exploded. And that I bled 4 pints of blood into my stomach and the pressure is what made my leg numb.

 

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

— C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

I am strong.

— January, founder of Birth Without Fear

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

— John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite.

— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
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