After Ourselves

Told by: Heather

On April 20, 2013 I began bleeding heavily while out of town with my daughter. We were in a hotel room and there was no one but my teenager there to pull me together.

My husband had to come to where I was in the middle of the night.

Later in the week with ultrasounds and blood tests the doctor determined I had a blighted ovum. I would’ve been 10 weeks that week I found out. I had only had my first appointment and no ultrasound pictures. All that remains from my pregnancy is my positive pregnancy test. I never will even know if my baby started to develop and died and was absorbed into my body or if I was only pregnant with the sac.

Either way, I fell in love with my baby with that positive pregnancy test.

We decided since we never saw our baby or knew the sex to name it after ourselves. Jaime (my first name) and Ryan (husband’s middle name). Jaime Ryan….Mommy and Daddy will love you forever!

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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I would not undo his existence just to undo my pain.

Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them.

— George Eliot

Much more than pro-life or pro-choice, I am pro-healing.

— an SBD Doula

I had seen birth and death but had thought they were different.

— T.S. Eliot

Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, without hurrying.

— Jean Cocteau
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HOW OUR HEARTS RELEASE BEGAN
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