She Brings Light

Told by: Angie

When I was 18 I got pregnant. My husband (boyfriend then) joined the Navy so we could afford to feed baby. While he was in boot camp I lost our baby. We got married when he came back on leave and a few months later I found out I was pregnant again. By the next ultrasound the baby’s heart had stopped beating. This kept happening over the years. Once I did not even know I was pregnant. I went into the ER because of the pain and random bleeding that had started. I think I knew what was happening but I didn’t want to believe it.
April 2008 we decided to try one last time. We planned it out, tried, conceived and were thrilled. First appointment went well. Our baby was growing and I felt great. We moved to another state very quickly with the navy and when I went in for my next appointment the baby had died. I went into labor that night and delivered our little 12 week baby. We were done. Both of us sank into a despair that I thought we would not come out of.

After a few months we decided we were done with it all and started to plan our divorce. I managed to pack up all the baby things we had collected over the years and donate them. Then two months later I got pregnant again. This time it worked! I gave birth to the prettiest, toughest, most happy baby I have ever seen. She is one of a kind and the light of my life! She really is the beautiful rainbow after the storm.

After all these years I can finally let go of the sadness. Thank you for providing a place to do that.

This is my sunshine on her first day in the world and now three years later.

sunshine1

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
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Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

— Paulo Coelho

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.

— John Calvin
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