The Not Knowing

Told by: LC

I think I was pregnant once. I felt sick constantly for two weeks and my whole body felt strange. I experienced nausea whenever there was food in my stomach and sometimes even when I hadn’t eaten anything at all. In those two weeks I felt bound by a torment, not only because I was physically sick but I was living with the uncertainty that I was carrying my first child and that I could not keep it. Eventually I bled and knew that I wasn’t pregnant but there’s no other way to explain what I experienced. I thought feeling sick was torment but not knowing what happened to me and possibly my baby is the true hell.

Since I will never know if I lost a baby, I will never be able to mourn.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES
«    15 of 16    »

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.

— J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

If a physician of high standing, and one’s own husband, assures friends and relatives that there is really nothing the matter with one but temporary nervous depression—the very worst thing I can do is to think about my condition—what is one to do? . . .
Personally, I disagree with their ideas . . .

— Charlotte, The Yellow Wallpaper

What a beautiful mess she left behind.

— Franchesca Cox

Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?

— Jesus

Zeroes count.

— stillbirthday
«    15 of 16    »


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