Remembering Proclamation 5890

Families all over the world who have been personally impacted by pregnancy and infant loss gather to hold vigils throughout the month of October, and most especially on October 15, a day known as International Remembrance day.

October was declared Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month in 1988 by then President Ronald Reagan.

So stillbirthday, with help from Missouri Senator Roy Blunt and Senator Claire McCaskill, is arranging for an American flag to be flown over the United States capitol on October 25, the date that Proclamation 5890 was signed.

Thank you, President Reagan, for honoring all families impacted by pregnancy and infant loss.

Please click here to read Proclamation 5890.





A mother experiences a pregnancy and infant loss literally every minute in the United States, many occurring at approximately 12 weeks gestation.  The approximate size of baby in utero at 12 weeks gestation is about the size of a plum.  If the number of American losses annually were represented in plums, laid side by side across the US capitol grounds (approximately 2 miles) it would take 24 rows of plums lined fully across the entire grounds.

24 rows

The pink & blue ribbon, for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness & Remembrance

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Remembrance Fruit

Today I shared this photo on our stillbirthday facebook page, and it’s sparked an opportunity that you might want to be part of.

To show awareness to pregnancy and infant loss, you can purchase the fruit that closest represents the age or size of your beloved baby when he or she died or was born.



Here’s a chart just as an idea:


4 Weeks

Poppy Seed


6 Weeks

Sweet Pea

8 Weeks



10 Weeks



12 Weeks



14 Weeks



16 Weeks


18 Weeks

Sweet Potato

20 Weeks



22 Weeks



24 Weeks



26 Weeks



28 Weeks



30 Weeks



32 Weeks



34 Weeks


36 Weeks

Honeydew Melon


38 Weeks

Small Pumpkin


40 Weeks

Small Watermelon






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Post Loss Lactation Tattoo




“esta madre se tatua en el pecho a su bebe que fallecio me dejo sin palabras”


“Tattoo on this mother nursing her baby who passed away left me speechless.”

This photo (source*) was shared with stillbirthday by the amazing mother and doula, Gena Kirby, at Progressive Parenting.

You can visit our milksharing map for more resources on post loss lactation.




*The original source has had a watermarking/authorship debate and whether it is a true tattoo.  This brings up a valuable point for bereaved parents that deciding on a tattoo – even the smallest one – is a commitment.  Tattoos do not equate a higher level of love, but instead are merely a single opportunity, of many, to express our love.   The photo is shared by stillbirthday as an opportunity to demonstrate a powerful message – and that message is this – post-loss lactation is a very real representation of our very real baby.  It is something we can nurture in whatever lactation decisions we make, including cessation or donation.






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Fly Away

Being pregnant and learning that your baby is no longer alive can be such an enormous mix of feelings, that articulating how you feel with words can seem insufficient.

This is a powerful image that depicts the ripping from us that we may feel, while also depicting that our baby still has value, still has beauty, still has transformed into something important and even beautiful.


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Single Parenthood

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This Impossible Time

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When Mother Earth is Pregnant

It is just profound, the similarities between a person embedded within the womb and a person buried in the earth.

This amazing piece is called “Healing Sleep”.

Which does this represent to you?



{photo source}

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Waiting to Exhale

Pregnancy after loss is often called a “rainbow pregnancy”, although you might not see the color just yet.

It can feel quite a lot like “Please, just get us both through this alive.”

It can feel like you’re waiting to exhale.

For encouragement and strength for your journey, please visit our Getting Pregnant Again resources, articles and stories.



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Sending Love

This is a very powerful image, and I’m sharing it because it also has a very powerful message.
I want to bring your attention to the “e” in the photo.  Do you see that tiny little knot?  That tiny little knot can turn out to be a devastatingly and catastrophically big deal.
“Cord related accidents” have brought many, many of us here on this journey of bereavement.
What I want to point out about this tiny little knot, is that it doesn’t stop the message – to your baby, or to us, seeing this photo.
And that message is, love.
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She is a Mother

Click here for more guidance for loved ones.

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Domestic Violence increases in pregnancy, leading to infant & maternal death.     [Path to Safety]      [Learn More]      [Quickly Exit to a Weather Channel]