Tandem Nursing Grief

Tandem: Nursing & Grieving

 

When a mother is in a season of breastfeeding her newborn while also nursing her toddler, it is commonly called tandem nursing.

Here at stillbirthday, we honor a different scenario of tandem nursing:

If you have faced post-loss lactation and have shared that milk:

  • with a surviving multiple
  • with a surviving older sibling
  • with another baby, either through pumping or direct wetnursing

Or if you are a mother nursing your subsequent baby, and this has brought you into a new facet of your grief, as you mourn that nursing relationship not had with your beloved, deceased baby.

The Universal Breastfeeding Symbol is a simple blue and white logo.  Here it’s been altered just slightly to honor the stillbirthday mothers who have had these experiences.  You can use and share this photo from our Facebook page.

We have more information and support for mothers facing post-loss lactation, including support for expediting the drying process, donating your milk, or, using your milk in other ways that may bring a bit of healing to you during such a devastating and difficult time.

 

For mothers facing this “tandem nursing grief” – nursing a baby, while also nursing grief, we have a Rainbow Milk Campaign – an opportunity for you to share photos and stories of this sort of tandem nursing, and see the stories and photos shared by other stillbirthday mothers.

Related: Love Letters

Sarah-Anne is the first baby photographed in our Rainbow Milk campaign. Her mama was pregnant with triplets and lost all 3 babies. All girls, they collectively refer to them as ‘Hope’. This photo was taken during Sarah-Anne’s first birthday party; it was rainbow-themed.

 

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Rainbow Milk Teether/Necklace

 

If you have faced post-loss lactation and have shared that milk:

  • with a surviving multiple
  • with a surviving older sibling
  • with another baby, either through pumping or direct wetnursing

Or if you are a mother nursing your subsequent baby, and this has brought you into a new facet of your grief, as you mourn that nursing relationship not had with your beloved, deceased baby.

Related: Stillbirthday has support for the various decisions regarding lactation.

Or if you are a bereaved mother who has not experienced lactation at all, but who wants a beautiful keepsake that honors your very real motherhood and all that you are grieving.

the Rainbow Milk library of stories and photos is a place to share your experience.  We’d be honored for you to share your stories and photos of nursing your surviving baby(ies), subsequent baby(ies) or pumping your milk to share it.

Related: the Universal Breastfeeding Symbol to honor our experiences.

Heidi Faith and her daughter, Evelyn, are both rainbow babies.

 Stillbirthday has a gorgeous rainbow nursing/teething necklace!

The Rainbow Milk nursing/teething necklace is a natural and beautiful accessory that will match every outfit you wear, and will give your surviving or subsequent baby a perfectly fitting grip to hold as he or she snuggles in close with you.

You can get your rainbow teether/nursing necklace, plus engraving, for only $28!

We’re calling this the Rainbow Milk necklace – as your subsequent/rainbow baby holds to the necklace, they can hold to their sibling’s name as well.

Sarah-Anne’s mama was pregnant with triplets and lost all 3 babies. All girls, they collectively refer to them as ‘Hope’. This photo was taken by SBD doula student Canary Lane Photography during Sarah-Anne’s first birthday party; it was rainbow-themed.

After you receive your necklace, have a photo taken of you wearing it while nursing or holding your subsequent/rainbow baby or surviving multiple, and send your photo to Heidi.faith@stillbirthday.com with “Rainbow Milk” as the subject line.  We’d love to see it!

View more items from the stillbirthday shop!

Price includes shipping within the U.S.   There is no tracking for international shipping to keep cost down.  If you can, ship to a US location who can then ship to you if your address is outside of the US.  Simply fill out the form and then use the yellow payment button. Maximum character count is 25.

 




 

Please visit our additional post-loss lactation resources.

MamAmour birthing & breastfeeding dolls have created a special stillbirthday triad – a breastfeeding mother and baby (she’s wearing her Rainbow Milk necklace!), but also a smaller baby.  This baby who is specially made to be a little different represents so many of our journeys.  A baby born via miscarriage.  An “invisible” sibling.  However this triad may speak to your experience, MamAmour has this special set for you; just ask them for the stillbirthday set.

04amore

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Rainbow Milk Burp {and Cry} Cloths

 

We Know Sew provides very affordable rainbow patterned burp cloths.  For mothers pregnant with subsequent “rainbow” babies, being a part of our Rainbow Milk campaign is a wonderful opportunity.  We take photos of ourselves nursing or snuggling with our “rainbow” babies, either with our Rainbow Milk teething necklaces or with our Rainbow Burp Cloths.  These are a small enough treasure to keep for many years to come – and soft enough to cry into during those moments when we simply need to cry.  Parenting after loss can have heightened joys – and magnified sorrows.  All experiences, and all feelings, are part of our journey, and part of how we parent, and part of how we heal.

Please visit our additional post-loss lactation resources.

 

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