Tandem Nursing Grief

Tandem: Nursing & Grieving

When a mother is in a season of breastfeeding her newborn while also nursing her toddler, it is commonly called tandem nursing.

Here at stillbirthday, we honor a different scenario of tandem nursing:

If you have faced post-loss lactation and have shared that milk:

with a surviving multiple
with a surviving older sibling
with another baby, either through pumping or direct wetnursing

Or if you are a mother nursing your subsequent baby, and this has brought you into a new facet of your grief, as you mourn that nursing relationship not had with your beloved, deceased baby.

The Universal Breastfeeding Symbol is a simple blue and white logo. Here it’s been altered just slightly to honor the stillbirthday mothers who have had these experiences. You can use and share this photo from our Facebook page.

We have more information and support for mothers facing post-loss lactation, including support for expediting the drying process, donating your milk, or, using your milk in other ways that may bring a bit of healing to you during such a devastating and difficult time.

For mothers facing this “tandem nursing grief” – nursing a baby, while also nursing grief, we have a Rainbow Milk Campaign – an opportunity for you to share photos and stories of this sort of tandem nursing, and see the stories and photos shared by other stillbirthday mothers.

Related: Love Letters

Sarah-Anne is the first baby photographed in our Rainbow Milk campaign. Her mama was pregnant with triplets and lost all 3 babies. All girls, they collectively refer to them as ‘Hope’. This photo was taken during Sarah-Anne’s first birthday party; it was rainbow-themed.

Rate this post

5 1 vote

Article Rating

BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

« ‹ 14 of 16 › »

She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum.

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.

— C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

I am strong.

— January, founder of Birth Without Fear

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

— John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite.

— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

« ‹ 14 of 16 › »

BECOME A DOULA!

Enroll now in the Birth & Bereavement Doula® program!

We onboard enrolled students into the program by email invitation.

After tuition, you can email heidi.faith@stillbirthday.com directly to expedite this step. Alternatively, if you prefer fb communications, you can join us in Admissions.