Confusion in Grief

Told by: Leah

Just thought to share my story of my miscarriage of a blighted ovum. This confused me for quite awhile after as was not sure how to react. One minute thinking I may be pregnant then miscarriage. My daughter was about 3 and a half at the time and though not planned was a lovely surprise. I was a few weeks along when I miscarried. This was traumatic as I went to my local doctors and saw a very young doctor who was not sure how to react himself.

I then went on to have three internal examinations as I went to three hospitals (though still not sure quite why).

Having an internal was not very pleasant with a doppler as being distressed and very confused. The staff were all very nice of course.

April 16 is the day I remember. My partner was probably confused at the time and not terribly supportive. Being told it was very common did not help either, plus my recent visit to the dentist I felt I had somehow caused it with the treatment I had. Still fuzzy on when I told the dental nurse that I may be pregnant but the look on her face I do remember. I remember thinking it was not a real baby yet so it’s not so bad..

Which sounds terrible to me, but an easier way to deal with it. Recently on TV there was a program on miscarriage; I told my children then (16 and 12) My son asked the most questions. which I answered as best as I could.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

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Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

— Paulo Coelho

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.

— John Calvin

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