This article serves as a way of providing support that is an extension of the following resources:
- Fatal Diagnosis Emotional Support
- Process of Carrying to Term
- Fatal Diagnosis Birth Plan
- After the Birth has postpartum, lactation and other support
- When Given Extra Time
- NICU Grief Support
- Farewell Celebrations
In regard to being counseled on removing life support, you may consider:
Hospital, general considerations:
- What the hospital policy is regarding cessation of life support.
- What the hospital policy is regarding any possibility of neonatal hospice/at-home farewell care.
- What staff may be there (if you’ve grown to have a favorite staff).
- What days have typically seemed to be more busy or less busy in the NICU.
- What estimated duration the staff foresee of the transition of life without medical support, and how they will support you during this time, or during a shortened or lengthened time in this transition.
- Incorporating an SBD doula to help guide with keepsake making and offering follow up support resources.
Keepsakes:
- Are there any keepsakes you’d like to make on this important day or during this important time?
- Ink prints, including onto a calendar or into a special book like a Bible, mold prints.
- Photos that may or may not be cropped or altered later to show with and without medical equipment.
- Items that have touched baby during the NICU.
- You can bring large storage bags (ziplock) to hold items and also to seal in the smell.
Heartbeat:
- You might include any of the many monitoring that has been such a part of your baby’s life after birth:
- The Birth Planning page has heartbeat keepsake ideas, such as “Soundwave Necklaces” and “Heartbeat Bears”
Bonding:
- Does hospital policy change or lift for cessation of life support? This might include a change of policy for a sibling child or extra family member to also be present.
- Does the hospital provide a bonding room during this time?
- Would you like to provide skin to skin during this time?
- How does the family communicate with hospital staff in the bonding room?
How To:
- How to photograph – The Solace Studio is a stillbirthday recommendation for photography mentorship
- How to bathe
- How to doula
Donation Decisions:
- The Birth Planning page has links to things like organ donation
Spiritual Inclusion:
- Who would you like present or what ritual would you like involved?
The Farewell
- Your SBD doula can walk with you as you leave the hospital.
- Have a plan for your drive. Can someone you love meet you in the parking lot to drive for you?
- Have a plan for the rest of the day that is within what both parents are comfortable with. Don’t arrange a big gathering of people if both parents aren’t in agreement to that decision, and don’t limit the other parents support.
- Invite your loved ones to visit our guidance for them so that they can help support you well, including bringing meals and other support.
