As a part of our MOM workshops, we hold a Sacred Whisper Nest.
It is a beautiful nest made from twigs and natural wool and holds special items that represent our difficult journey. We each take turns cupping this beautiful nest in our hands, and we hold a chance to just get out some things we feel burdened with. The glorious thing about the Whisper Nest is that we don’t even have to speak the secrets aloud, but we can hold the beautiful nest and know that others too have cried into it, have had broken wishes and broken friendships and difficult bends in the journey.
Gathering in a trusting circle such as our MOM workshop is such a substantial and valuable opportunity for our deepest healing and richest growth, but I also know that fear to begin with, can make such an investment into ourselves a difficult one.
In our culture, infused with social media and woven together through the World Wide Web, the sense of exposure can also leave us bereaved moms torn between feeling totally abandoned in the crowd, and feeling raw and exposed.
When you are pregnant with grief, a seed of a shared humanity, a potential of discovering light through impossible darkness, is embedded deep in the soil of our soul. And as this seed is watered with our tears, nourished by the warmth of our wrapping our womb in protection, hugging ourselves in the darkness while we search with trepidation for light, it grows.
We grow.
Expanding from the depths of our soul, outward from our heart, we grow.
Our waistline doesn’t change, but we grow.
And there are points on this journey where we can feel very conflicted. As we Mother Our Mourning, we need to give it permission – permission of expression, permission of freedom of creativity and vulnerability and authenticity. But, because we are Mothering Our Mourning, we also need to support it’s shape, with the discipline of discernment and self control.
For each of us, we Mother Our Mourning in a way that balances these two seemingly opposing needs for our own greatest growth. This means that not any two of us Mother Our Mourning in the exact same way. Our Mothering of Our Mourning is as unique as we are.
I see a very real need occurring as we try to find just the right balance. Sometimes, it just feels like there is something, a word, a thought, a feeling, that we just need to get out. A feeling of, I will absolutely burst if I cannot just say this thing. But, not knowing the best way to say it. Fearing you might regret it later. Not wanting to hurt anybody or push them away, but feeling untrue to yourself by not giving expression somehow of this nagging feeling or plaguing thought.
Not knowing the best way to resolve this conflict, bereaved parents sometimes make decisions that seem impulsive, filled with resentment and frustration, and insensitive to the needs of others. In short, sometimes our mourning throws a tantrum. And afterward, we might feel like a foolish child because of it.
All the while, this very real need to honor this balance of Mothering Our Mourning has been left uncared for, abandoned and not nurtured.
If you are reading this and are feeling a Yes! This! in your spirit, I invite you, to join our sacred circle. We’re all here, together, reverently, vulnerably, authentically. This is me, holding out our sacred Whisper Nest to you. Reaching out, with this opportunity for you to whisper the things that just need to get out, so that you can keep growing.
Because, as we Mother Our Mourning, we are growing.
Totally anonymous, totally confidential, here you can whisper. You can know that you can be vulnerable, without being exposed. You can be honest, without wounding anyone or without them wounding you. And you can know, that we all here have whispered into this nest. You aren’t required to mention anyone by name, no need to identify yourself, no email address required, no call back number. Just you. Just your growing, just our growing. We’re all in this circle together.
We’re all, Mothering Our Mourning.
Safety Support
Because there is no way for me to contact you, I feel the need to list some helpful resources for you in case they might be needed.
- If you feel you might harm yourself or others, please, please seek additional safety support.
- Stillbirthday also has several other ways of getting connected and supported.
- The Whisper Nest is not the place to ask general questions. Please visit our feedback form and FAQ for such needs.
Whisper Ideas
Here are a few ideas of what you might whisper.
- Wanting to tell someone you are pregnant, without a full public announcement.
- Wanting to tell someone how you’ve felt betrayed, alone or angry (“blowing off steam” or, giving your Mourning the permission to throw a bit of a tantrum in a constructive way).
