Shopping for Adoption

When someone says, “well at least you can just adopt” they are, intentionally or not, sending the message that one can simply run to WalMart and pick out a baby.

It’s not that simple.

Adoption can be a difficult and emotional process, for all involved: for the pregnant mother, for the intending parents, and for the baby.

Each person deserves to be supported, and supported well.

Our SBD Doulas have knowledge and resources available to them in their training to help support families considering adoption, including in particular, the element of bereavement that might accompany the desire to adopt from the intending family, and the subsequent bereavement that the pregnant mother may feel after the adoption transition.

In recent news, a pregnant teen girl was kidnapped and forced to drive her car to the location of the intending parents. The kidnapper has been arrested, and the reports indicate that the pregnant mother is safe, after intentionally crashing the car into a parked police car, which is how the kidnapper was caught and the situation came into the news.

Grief is real.

I speak only for myself when I say that, I know that there are those within my own “demographic” of Christian conservatives, who approach their position in what I can only say a sloppy way. Adoption itself is no quick fix to anything. It requires excellent support, for everyone involved.

Additionally, our country is currently seeing a lot of homosexual marriage controversy. Homosexual couples looking into adoption face potential rejection from assisted reproductive clinics, and potential issues regarding Second Parent Adoption.

I’m not asking you what your views are on adoption in general, as an alternative to elective abortion, or homosexual partners adopting.

I’m simply sharing with you, that couples yearning to feel like parents just can’t go shopping for adoption like you might think.

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BIRTH & BEREAVEMENT QUOTES

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Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

— Paulo Coelho

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.

— John Calvin

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Enroll now in the Birth & Bereavement Doula® program!

We onboard enrolled students into the program by email invitation.

After tuition, you can email heidi.faith@stillbirthday.com directly to expedite this step. Alternatively, if you prefer fb communications, you can join us in Admissions.