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SBD: Supporting Bereavement Diversity
This enormous section of stillbirthday provides bereavement support specific to:
gender, age, religion/faith, culture, family lifestyle & other diverse groups.
We link to military support and children’s support here too!
Stillbirthday Fathers deserve support as the supporters.
Photo Canary Lane Photography Studio an SBD doula student.
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~Fathers~
Dear Dads,
You matter.
If you’d like, you can join our dad’s only facebook group.
Support, General
Watching her grieve while you grieve too can be wildly overwhelming. If you or your spouse need emergency support, please, use our crisis hotline resources. Generally, grief is enormous but somehow, we make our way in this valley. We also invite you to view our general support ideas for your loved ones, as they may need some guidance in how to support you both well during this time.
Fertility Challenges
Bereavement
- Dads, please share your experiences with us here
- Read stillbirthday stories from other dads, by clicking “Dads” in the right sidebar of this site, under the pregnancy weeks. These are stories shared here by other dads.
- For Love of DaDs
- Support for suddenly single {widowed} fathers raising motherless children
- Stillbirthday Journeys for couples
- DaDchelor Parties – stillbirthday workshops just for men
Other Bereavement Support for DADs
- Men Have Needs Through Pregnancy Loss
- Men Can Endure Postpartum Depression – & Including After Loss
- Tips for Meeting Her Needs
- DaDs: Coping with Loss
- The Postpartum Husband is a helpful book in meeting her needs
- Fathers Grieving is a Facebook group
- Freedom Truth and Bread blog
- Grieving Dads website, book, news, FMLA updates, and much more
- Isabella’s Daddy blog
- Charlie’s Leaf blog
- Father’s Grief blog
- Dazed Dad Online Reflections
- A blog for Fathers
- “Daddys with Angels” is a Facebook group
- “Fathers of Angels” is a Facebook group
- “Grieving Fathers” is a Facebook group
- Dadz Club has a listing of shared stories from dads
- Men and Miscarriage is a printable leaflet
- Miscarriages Hurt Men Too – blog and book
- I HATE THIS a play
- Miscarriages Hurt Men Too is a book for purchasing
- A Bereaved Father – Steve Younis (mens grief)
- Swallowed by a Snake – Thomas R. Golden (mens grief)
- Butterbean – Brandon Roberts PhD (mens grief)
- A Man You Know is Grieving – Thomas R. Golden (mens grief)
- WebHealing is a website run by Thomas R. Golden that has mens grief information
- Noah’s Dad – a blog not about loss, but about parenting a son who has Down Syndrome
- Becoming Dad is an online network of fathers of all experiences, providing information, advocacy, mentorship, and collaboration on all aspects of fatherhood
Media which reference Men and Fathers Grief
- Luke Abbott’s Fifth Quarter
- Courageous
- Return to Zero
- The Way
- More Books & Movies
- Poetry and Music
click photo for short film
Couples
Mentorship Program for Fathers
- Consider the stillbirthday mentorship program.
Keepsakes for Fathers
- You might want to visit our keepsakes section
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You have permission to use this photo. Just visit stillbirthday on Facebook to find and share it.
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Healing Resources Specific to Children:
Children, Teens and Grief
{General} Healing Resources:
“Niche” Support
- While many aspects of bereavement and healing are universal, we have support resources listed especially for the type of experience you’ve had. Just use our “types of loss” section to gather those resources. We here at stillbirthday say that grief is a language, that each of us speak a particular dialect of it. In the language of bereavement, we can learn to celebrate our similarities while honoring our differences.
Groups, Counselors and Programs for Bereavement (by location)
“Timetables” for Grief
Grief and Social Networking
Identifying & Understanding aspects of Bereavement
Similar and/or Compounding Issues to Grief
- Mood Disorders (checklists)
- SBD Recommended Books on Postpartum Mood Disorders
- Rainbow Fatigue (compare to Baby Blues)
- Postpartum Mood Disorders (hotline)
- Postpartum Mood Disorders
- Postpartum Mood Disorders (videos)
- Postpartum Depression
- Postpartum Psychosis
- Processing Traumatic Childbirth
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
- Sudden Cessation of Lactation
- Complicated Grief
- Spiritual Warfare in Grief
- Shame
- Anxiety, Panic, PTSD (online program)
- Mother’sToolkit (emotional support)
Creativity through Bereavement
- Crafting is such a healing activity, we have a whole section for tutorials
- SBD Circles activities include: Claim the Space, Love Letters to My Body, Womandalas, and more
- Invisible Pregnancy activities
- Poetry and Music
- Beauty in the Breakdown
- Everything Pretty
- Writing Your Baby’s Name
- Glow in the Woods
- Painting
- Photography
- Photography 2
- Exhale
- Scrapbooking
- Artwork
- Writing (Sheila is also a loss mom)
- Public Street Art
- These ideas and more are available through our Farewell Celebrations section
Finding Intentional Joy
It is important to know that you can laugh again, and that it’s not a dishonor to your lost child. Plan intentional activities that you have always found to be enjoyable – watching your favorite movie, eating at your favorite restaurant, shopping at your favorite store. Be safe, and let yourself hear your laughter or feel yourself really smile.
- Invisible Pregnancy book & Mothers Workshops based on the book, written by Heidi Faith!
Holidays
- The Beginning of the End (Christmas)
- Handling Holiday Grief (Parts 1-6, Christmas, outside link)
Books, Crisis Hotlines and other Long Term Resources
Sexual and Intimate Relationship After Loss
Military Family Resources:
- SBD Military family stories
- Military One Source
- Veterans Crisis Line
- The Military Doula
- Boots & Bellies
Military: continuing legacies of those organizations and efforts before us (these are dated resources but valuable to know about)
- Yellow Ribbon Birth Project
- KMC Healing Hearts
- doulas who were part of the original Operation Special Delivery philosophy prior to their 2016 restructure
- SBD offers discounts and scholarships for our doula training for doulas who have an authentic desire to serve military families well.
Military: blogs and other links:
Single Parenthood:
- We have a growing collection of stories shared by single parents held in different categories:
- Single, Separated or Widowed
- Teen
- Blended
Special Needs / Differently Abled Parents:
In whatever way or ways an individual may be considered to have special needs, there are resources and support specific to those circumstances and what you may be facing. It is virtually impossible to maintain a list of every diagnosis, definition or challenge that a person may be a survivor of and then place that list alongside birth and bereavement support, but what we have begun to do is collect the resources that do speak to the combination of both sexuality and disability, to provide avenues for you that ought to branch out into extensive resources. Growing this list is important, and if you have an idea to add, please email Heidi.Faith@stillbirthday.com to send it in.
- SBD lists several resources for special needs children in our diagnosis resources.
- Through the Looking Glass is a wonderful resource for parents with special needs.
- The Disabled Woman’s Guide to Pregnancy & Birth
- Sexuality & Disability
- Maternity Rolls
- Deaf Hope
- Ultrasound ideas can include having the photo casted into a 3D clay mannequin. A favorite of stillbirthday is My Tangible Peace.
- Blogs:
- The story of Malek’s family
LGBTQ+:
- QTPOC (queer/transgender people of color)
- Mommy, Mama and Me (a children’s storybook)
- LGBTQ+ Stories
- LGBTQ+ Fertility Resources & Support
- LGBTQ+ Family Planning
- LGBTQ+ Books
- Loss after ART
- Lesbian Miscarriage
- Lesbian Miscarriage Support Group
- Dr. Deb Rich, specializing in lesbian perinatal psychology
- Keenan’s mothers share their beautiful, tragic story, with a powerful message:
“We feel strongly that privatizing such events serves only to isolate people, we believe that it doesn’t allow other families openly grieve a stillborn, nor easily access support they may need or want in doing so. In acknowledging life we need to also acknowledge death, make it safe to grieve and encourage people to be present with their emotions/feelings/
thoughts.” From their photographer, Jozi Grant:
“Friends and family of Keenan’s mothers recently congregated at the Squamish Nation Shaker Church to celebrate Keenan with a ceremonial food offering to set his spirit free. It was held on a beautiful day with the North Shore mountains watching over us. The Squamish Minister offered an uplifting perspective on the passing of this precious boy. He explained that though Keenan’s parents may sometimes wonder if they are being punished in some way, they should know that they were, in fact, especially chosen to bring a lost soul back and facilitate his freedom. It resonated with me – such a beautiful way to look at such a painful loss.”
Cultural & Spiritual Resources:
For Cultural and Spiritual Farewell Custom Resources – please visit our Farewell Celebrations section
- Baha’i
- Christian
- Chinese
- Japanese
- Native American
- Native American Poems
- Asian American
- African American
- Haitian American
- Hispanic American
- Latina Mothers {MADRE}
- European American
- Jewish Observances
- Roman Catholic Observances
- Protestant Observances
- Islamic Traditions
- Islam/Muslim Grief
- Muslim Birth Professionals
- Spiritual Practices (book)
- SBD Birth & Bereavement Diversity Awareness
- SBD Doula students share Global Perspectives
Stillbirthday Mothers Workshops feature a “Mother Roasting” that some cultures believe positively impact both fertility and postpartum healing
Fertility & Bereavement Support for Families of Color
Alternative Therapies:
“EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a simple tapping technique that allows you to relieve distress by gently tapping on certain acupressure points on your body while focusing on the particular issue.
With pregnancy loss, we may also be feeling trauma, anger, guilt, and fear in addition to normal grief. EFT will not get rid of normal grief, but it can help release unnecessary distress, so that you aren’t so weighed down and are able to move through the stages of grief more easily.
A few sessions with an experienced EFT practitioner can be helpful & give you the tools you need to help yourself when the waves of grief feel overwhelming. EFT can also be helpful for your partner and any family members who need support with their feelings.” – Sondra Rose
- Sondra Rose, trained EFT practitioner
- Janet Field (Hypnotherapy, EFT, meditative music)
- Jeanice Barcelo (Jin Shin, EFT)
Agnostic/Atheist Resources:
- Baby Loss Support for Agnostic & Atheist Moms (on Facebook)
- Philosophical Narrative on Crises
- Kota Press
- Grief Beyond Belief
- Pregnancy & Infant Loss Spirit/Energy Readings
- Pregnancy & Infant Loss Channeling
- Tanner’s Energy Reading
- Birth Verse (language tailored to living newborn)
- AstroBaby (language tailored to living newborn: there aren’t natal charts for babies not born alive, only “event” charts)
- Pagan Priestess Angil Dix-Moon (email@AngilTheDoula.com)
- The Amethyst Network holds a collection of articles that are diverse honoring
- Brigid’s Grove keepsakes and other items
Shop:
We have a listing of special momentos, charms, books and other merchandise especially created in honor of various cultures, religions and beliefs, including alternative healing stones and more in our momentos section.
Share Your Story!
If you have utilized any of these diversity resources, perspectives and activities and would like to let other families know about them, please consider sharing your story here at stillbirthday.
Healing Resources Specific to Mothers:
Menstruation after Pregnancy Loss
Trying to Conceive (TTC) after Loss
Returning to Other Responsibilities After Loss
Mentorship Program for Mothers
- Consider the stillbirthday mentorship program.
